Post op bliss

Thursday afternoon after fasting for over 24 hours and being a starving deranged mess I finally went in for surgery to look at my insides. I awoke to pictures of my guts that made no sense to me.  Here is what I learned:

After my hysterectomy my insides were possibly not put back exactly right, which means my colon was put away near my cervix.  Scar tissue grew from my cervix to my colon and then attached those to my remaining ovary.  All of that attached to something else (I don't know what) and the result was a crushed colon and ovary and a relocated cervix.  They also found that my colon had attached itself to something that pulled it into my appendix and smooshed my appendix up against the wall of my insides.  Thus my appendix was "very irritated and angry."

I was not crazy.

They removed a ton of scar tissue from my colon and surrounding areas.  My ovary was able to be saved (yay!), my colon was able to be put back where it belonged, uncrushed and with room to function, my cervix was detached from other body parts and was put back where it belonged, my appendix was removed, and I should be good as new. The doctor described it as a "necessary tune up."

That clear part is more recent scar tissue.  The white part on the right side is old scar tissue that was holding my colon up against something that it didn't belong against. My doctor said the way my colon was smashed was causing me to not be able to digest food, causing it to sit inside of me for days and thus causing the swelling and bloating.  He also said had he not gone in when he did my appendix would have ruptured from the pressure of my colon being pressed against it.

I awoke to find three incisions instead of two.  One of them is right in the center of my tattoo.  My doctor did not do that one, the other doctor did. My doctor has always cut around my tattoos.  I am pretty sad, I hope it heels okay.

My biggest frustration is that I woke up the morning of the surgery weight 162. I was so close to my second goal weight of 160 pounds.  I was in the hospital for maybe a total of six hours and I left there weighing 169 pounds.


So much what the fuck.

I went into the hospital with my stomach looking flat, the shelf above my C-section scar was starting to smooth out and flatten, I was starting to get kind of skinny. I was beginning to like myself. Look at it, my stomach was flattening out.

Now I look like this

Lets close up on those bruises

I need to mention here that my surgery was on my front.  It was below my belly button.  It had nothing to do with my side.  Yet somehow my side is bruised. Badly.  It hurts.  My ribs hurt.  My front hurts from the inside like I had surgery.  My side however hurts like I got punched.  I'm super annoyed. I hadn't seen this yet when the doctor called so I couldn't ask him what in the fuck happened to my side, but something happened. 

The worst pain of all so far has come from the CO2 that they blew inside of my body.  At random times the air will move up to my shoulder tip and try to escape.  This is the most excruciatingly painful thing ever.  I hate this part of the heeling because it just comes on out of nowhere, with zero warning and stays for about four minutes.  I hate it.

Lets look at my front now. 

I am horrified.  I'm swollen, and bruised, and so fat.  So so fat.  I feel like I took about thirty five steps backward from where I was when I left the gym on Wednesday.  I've never come out of a laparoscopy (this is my 4th) with this kind of bruising.  My doctor did ask me if I felt beat up when we talked, and when I said yes the only thing he would say is, "I'm sorry that was the other doctor not me."  Again since I didn't know how bad the bruising was at that point I didn't ask more. Now though I want to know why my whole body is so bruised and fucked up.

Rationally I understand I just had surgery and I'm going to swell and maybe gain a little weight.  Irrationally I can't help but think all of my hard work has been undone.  I have to relose those seven pounds I struggled so hard to lose this month.  I have to work so so hard to flatten my stomach out again.  I can't even work out for 14 days.  Fourteen days.  I'm going to get so much fatter in fourteen days and lose my cute little arm muscles, and my legs are going to get fat again. 

I've spent my recovery trying to do the right things. Drink my protein shake in the morning. Eat reasonable portioned lunches and dinners.  I've only had ice cream one time and that was the day I came home after I had vomited up my entire stomach contents.

I am excited to see if I suddenly have a normal functioning body that digests its food the way it should.  I'm counting down the days until I can get back into the gym.  I'm ready to recover and get on with the show.

In the mean time my husband has been the bestest care taker ever.  He's brought me food, and let me lay in the center of our bed with the sheets folded around me just perfectly, and all six pillows behind my head.  He's let me text him pictures of bells when I needed him to bring me a pain pill or some gum. He's gone out to get me special lunch and basically been wonderful.

I've been staring at my awful pedicure for the last three days and I'm wondering if it would be pushing my luck to ask my husband to remove my toenail polish and give me a shiny new pedicure.  Hmmmmm.  He's at the grocery store now perhaps I will ask him when he returns.


One thought on “Post op bliss

  1. Hi
    I just had a laparoscopic resection rectoplexy
    6 incisions into my tummy, one very large one down the bottom like a cesarian .I got out of hospital yesterday 7th June I went in sunday 29th May it was like faulty towers in there and nothing went smoothly. I woke up out of the sedation, I felt every single bit. Nothing was working, aparently I screamed for a long time before I came to. My surgeon ad anestisiologist had left, the nurse was basically in tears, and I just could not believe the pain, I was taken down at 1pm and woke after 7 it was worse than the four natural child births I had had. It took ages for the nurse to keep pushing the button to release more morphine, I begged for an epidural, she could not do that she couldnt even give me a shot of something that would work. I had a lot of bad vibes from the nurses towards the doctors, that they wanted to report it. Just horrible. I am now, like you, with a big bloated tummy and gained a huge amount of weight in such a short amount of time, i ate very healthy at the hospital as the had a vegan option, so bircher muslea for breaky, with some mixed fruit, vegan salad plate for lunch or dinner or soup and veges for dinner. No bread. On monday they stopped ALL medication besides panadol, PANADOL? I was i agony and I told them they were cruel. Some of the night nurses were horrible and would make me wait ages for my medication when i was on it, it was a conspiracy against me getting pain relief. I told them this is a hospital a MEDICAL CENTRE where you get MEDICINE, noone understood or didnt read my chart to see what I had had done. My gizzards were pulled out of my body, a large chunk above my rectum was taken and then sewn back together and attached to my coxic, My labia majora is HUGE it is so swollen I cannot stand up for long or walk for long as it hurts and makes it worse, I had a huge bag of ice on it and the surgeon came in and took it off me IT WAS BLISS and took the pain away, he said it would hinder the healing.. of heavens above that i would get some pain relief so that i could be pain free for a little while. My stomach is huge I am embarassed, and uncomfortable. I hope to loose the weight by cycling asap this is my all time high i have never been this big even pregnant. Not sure when you had yours done, but bless you I hope that your healing well and back at the gym, I had a tattoo also but I dont care that much about it, the eldest of my 4 kids was a willful child and at 16 was determinded to get a tattoo so i had to get one also along with three girlfriends, she had the gift tht one!! How are you now? are you able to eat and defecaate properly now? absorb nutrients Fancy puttiing your organs in the wrong place? how did these ppl get their licence off the back of a cornflakes box? bless you again xoxoxox janey


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