Taking my husband down with me

I don’t know why my husband still tells me things that happen at work. He knows I just come right over here to my computer and flap my jaws to all of you! Here is todays latest entry of weird shit said at my husbands work

First a quick background. Yesterday Rob’s work was invited to a lunch put on by Fed-Ex as a customer appreciation thing. Him and three friends rode over in one car and they got tri-tip and chicken and so on. K end of background.

Omar: Hey Rob was your shit green yesterday?
Rob: Umm no why
Omar: Dude my shit was bright green I was hoping your’s was too from the lunch yesterday.
Rob: Nope
Omar: Hey Darrel is your shit green
Darrel: Yeah cool is yours too
Omar: Yeah but Rob’s isn’t, hey Tony what bout you
Tony: No you guys are weird
Rob: Yeah mine was just normal brown color
Tony: What are you guys doing eating color crayons

Why oh why does he insist on telling me these things Hmmmmm?

The fun new blog game

Heres the deal. A super secret friend of mine who would like to be known as Sassy, started this new blog. It’s called the truth about…. Basically what happens is you go in and finish the … So far hers have all been about work and the things co workers do to really piss you off. The fun thing about this blog is it is totally anonymous. What she has decided to do, is open up the blog to invite guest authors. You have to come up with your secret agent name to post. Since she wants to remain super secret you will leave your email in my comments and I will give them to her. PLEASE LEAVE THEM ANONYMOUSLY SO WE DONT KNOW WHO YOU ARE! She will add your email and you will receive an invite and be granted permission to blog on the page. Soooo that means if you are having a shit bad day at work and want to secretly vent about that bitch ass ho in the cubicle next to you, you can do it and never have to worry about your job finding out.

The rules are as follows:
All posts will start out with POSTED BY: and your secret agent name
The title shall go as follows: …and the thing you are telling the truth about..you can see examples from what she has already put up
Cussing is totally allowed.
No real names not even of the people you are writing about
If at any time you figure out who another blogger is you are required to shut your mouth and not out them

After the blog gets up and running you can fill in the blank about anything. It doesn’t even have to be about work. Since its totally anonymous you can post the truth about anything, boyfriends, friends, any big juicy secrets you have you can post totally secret and no one can ever vet mad since we don’t know who you or the person you are talking about is.

My super secret friend and I think this is going to be great fun. So head over HERE and check out our new little game. Remember if your interested you can simply leave me your email and we will invite you.

NOW PLEASE BE ADVISED. Once you submit your email, in order to sign in you will need a google blogger account. IF the email you send me is connected to your regular blog your secret agent cover will be blown. So if you want to remain ultra mega anonymous then create a second google account with only your secret agent name and a different email that isn’t connected to your regular blog GOT IT!

About my twin (my much skinnier much more fashionable twin)

So! Jen and I just started talking again about 8 months ago. We knew each other in high school but we never knew each other well because we were all to caught up in the gossip of life to actually KNOW people! So now as we get to know each other we have found the oddest similarities. Here they are:

  • Our bedrooms were (until last week when she redid hers) the same color scheme, a kinda tealish blueish color, and browns.
  • We drive the same EXACT care, same year and features and everything
  • We are both almost the same far along in our pregnancies
  • We are both having boys
  • Both our kids will probably have names that start with “C”
  • We both type on little white Mac Books
  • We both prefer to shop at the organic stores and cook fresh meals
  • We are registered for the same stroller
  • We both have bent pinkies
  • Our moms so far seem like the same person just split in two
  • We were both ultra spoiled
  • We both still are
  • We both married non confrontational guys
  • We both have cats
  • We both had out door weddings
  • We both have a thing with bags!!!!

This is all that comes to mind right now..but it saddens me that I’ve found someone who is so much like me and now she is gone in another state!

Why why why why why?

I just don’t get it. Why on earth do people have Myspace accounts if they are just going to set them to private? It is fucking retarded. To use the excuse that you don’t want people to know what you are doing is even more lame. If you don’t want them to know THEN DON’T FUCKING WRITE IT, Right? But really, I don’t get it. How much info can one person really have on their Myspace? It’s like blogging, you either use a pseudo name or you just don’t write what you don’t want people to know? Sounds easy enough doesn’t it? Quite frankly the private blogs get me irritated too. I think I’m so bothered by this because when you make the effort to find an old friend or something and then can’t even check out their pictures to make sure it is really them, it really sucks that you even tried. Uggggg. Don’t have a Myspace if you have soooo much to hide!

Yeah yeah whatever

Soooo as Stephanie so graciously pointed out, I have slacked off on posting from this site for a whole 24 hours and 8 long minutes. Sooorry. Truth is I haven’t had much to talk about. I’ve been fighting with my parents over the house Rob and I are building and it is making me crazy. We started fighting Monday and I’ve been in a funk about it all week.

My house is a disaster because turning my office into a babies room has created quite the project. Since I’m not allowed to lift much this means now that there are little piles of stuff allllll over my house that my nanny left me with that I can’t lift and move. That means there are tons of new little piles for my son to destroy. That means he has strewn about 48 CD’s around my house. He found a box with old unopened bill. Do you know what he did. He opened them all and threw about 20 bills in small pieces allllll over my house! He got a hold of a red marker and painted his hands red and then went into the bathroom and dunked his hand in the toilet and smeared red ALL OVER my toilet seat. He found the Playstation games and took them all out of their cases and hid them from Rob. He found a bag of hangers from the dry cleaner and he pealed the paper in one inch pieces off every single hanger threw paper everywhere and then proceeded to throw hangers EVERY WHERE!

At work he has peeled off all the labels on the file cabinets. He fed the dog his breakfast. He fed the dog his vitamins. He fed the dog his lunch. He fed the dog some poop.

Let’s see what else. I work for a heating and air conditioning company and it is so hot in my office right now you could melt chocolate on my desk…go figure. Ooh, but I do have ice cream in the freezer. Be right back.

I’m back, seems marble slab doesn’t freeze so well. Darn! This shit is frozen rock solid which doesn’t sit to well for someone who really has zero patience so is gonna fucking throw this shit at the wall waiting for it to melt.

My husband and I had a little fight the other night. When he got home he came bearing a M&M McFlurry. He is a smart man. He was forgiven instantly.

Fucking bitch ice cream still isn’t soft.

I drove to work today and my car says I have 10 miles to go till I run out of gas. I wonder how far I’ll push it before I go get gas. Oh yeah, I have a company supplied gas card, so paying for the gas isn’t a problem, my laziness is the problem.

Last time I ran out of gas one of those neat high way helper vans pulled up right at the same time as my husband. Didja know if you run out of gas they will give you five gallons free to get you to a gas station..how nifty..to bad husband brought gas so that meant no free gas for me. Rob still laughs at me for having the highway helper guys stop and help me.

Oo ooh I got a bite. Mmmmm mocha caramel goodness.

What a boring job. Could you imagine if your job was to drive up and down the same patch of freeway alllll day long hoping someone breaks down. Sad sad lonely job if you ask me.

That reminds me of a funny memory. One time my cousin and I were driving to California. We were in my moms car. The whole way there these two dorky older guys were flirting with us. So I sped up and left em in the dust. A little ways up the road everyone starts swerving and instead of swerving too I just go ahead and run right over the giant chair in the road. In my moms car. Only problem is, chair gets stuck under the car. Brilliant. So my cousin and I pull over and hop out like two dipshits thinking sure, we’ll just pry the chair out. NOPE this shit wasn’t moving. So now we are standing on the side of the road with a look on our face like UH DUH. Right at this moment a cop drives by and as he’s driving he passes right by us and says on his speaker phone thingy… A TOW TRUCK IS ON THE WAY!

WTF her and I just watch as this cop drives by leaving two girls stranded and tells us he is sending a tow truck. Umm. What if we didn’t need a tow truck? What if we were just stopping to stretch, or stopping because, oh I don’t know we ran over a chair?

So guess who comes to our rescue? No not mr. tow truck man, instead its the two dorky guys we had made fun of earlier. They end up lifting the front of my car while my cousin beds down and grabs a hold of the chair and I put the car in reverse all at the same time. Walah we were free. We said thanks and hopped in the car and took off leaving them standing their scratching their heads. It was pretty funny. I dunno, maybe you had to be there.