Okay I should have clarified a little better. In fact I would have if I had remembered it all but it has been slowly fading. The guy from numbers playing the piano naked was not a sexual dream. We were all in some kind of class and suddenly he took off with all our money (who knows) then we found him playing piano naked. He was doing it to save something or other and get a story published which he did. All in all it was a weird ass dream! But no it was not IN ANY WAY A SEX DREAM! Get your heads out of the gutters people!

So! Today is that big anniversary that I told you Rob and I acknowledge. You know the one that says I’ve dealt with him for six years now! We’ll a few months ago (we always say happy monthaversary to make fun of those people who actually celebrate months) we turned it into a competition. Who could say happy anniversary on the 23rd of each month first. For a year I was kicking his ass. Then he got his new job waking up before me and he started winning. I was pissed. I even tried deleting the reminder alarm in his cell phone since my phone is always dead the reminder doesn’t work for me. I beat him in August because he came home hung over at about 5am from a baseball game in Cali and I heard his alarm go off and went running in the room all triumphant like! He got me again in September. Well since this month is the actual anniversary I was determined to win. So here is a little bit of how Sunday night went..

Shannon: Sits up at 1am jiggles Rob. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY I WIN!!!!!!
Rob: Wrong day dumbass
Shannon: Dammit, whatever good night.

Yeah he made major fun of me yesterday for this. So last night rolls around and this happens..
Shannon: Brilliant lamp speak
Rob: Whatever go to bed
Shannon: WAIT HAPPY ANNIVERSARY I WIN
Rob: No dumbass it’s only 10pm on the 22nd
Shannon: Dammit
……..
Rob: Sits up at 12:01 shakes me and shouts HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SUCKER
Shannon: DAMMIT I should get an honorary win for all my tries.
Rob: Nope I win loser!!!!!!!!!

Soooo people. Next month we need to come up with a full proof method to have me awake after midnight on the 23rd and somehow come up with a way I will remember I MUST WIN AGAIN PEOPLE!!!!!!!

I have a habit of waking up and talking like an idiot at night. Want an example? Okay here you go.

Shannon: Sits up frantically patting Rob till he wakes up. Babe, whats that?
Rob: Whats what
Shannon: THAT (points at something on night stand)
Rob: Are you serious Shannon that is your lamp
Shannon: Well Duh I know it’s a lamp
Shannon: Stares at it for a minute then says, But wait, when did I get a lamp
Rob: Honey are you for reals right now
Shannon: Yeah where did the lamp come from?
Rob: Shannon we’ve had that lamp since we moved in
Shannon: Rob I know whose lamp that is, I know I’m weird stop picking on me
Rob: Okay babe go to bed
Shannon: I’m not tripping you know, I was just tripping out a little I mean it was only a lamp gosh Rob

See. I make perfect sense huh?

And just to keep my credibility I won’t tell you about how I had a dream about that guy from Numb3rs and I really won’t tell you about how he was naked playing the piano.

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When it came time to buy a new computer I came home with a bright white MacBook. My husband came home with a black MacBook.

When it came time to buy and Ipod I came home with a shiny white one, the hubs of course a back one.

My husband drives a black Tahoe. His plates refer to it being all black. His lights are black, his rims are black everything on the car is black.

Today, I purchased a very very white Yukon.

A friend looked at us today and said, these things seem to define the two of you. There is no gray there is only black and white. We looked at each other and laughed. The two of us could not be more different. More set in our ways. He’s black, I’m white and together we form a ying yang rather then combining to make gray.

The colors seem to symbolize so much more. While we both like things clean we have a different version of clean. He likes things tidy, I like them CLEAN. Meaning, I wash my stove while I cook. I clean my tile daily. I like things clean. My husband doesn’t mind as long as long as they appear clean. Which seems to be why I would pick a white computer. Something I know I will have to clean. While he picked black. His computer will always appear clean while not really being clean.

He likes things easy. You don’t have to do much to a black computer the dirtier it gets the blacker it is right? I like things difficult. I buy a white car, and white Ipod and white computer knowing it will be more work to wipe it down twice weekly. I make things difficult. Although carpet was easier to clean and you just had to run a vacuum across it, I chose hardwood. My thoughts are that I want to see the dirt. I don’t want to know its hiding in the folds of the carpet. So while hardwood is more work, and I have to sweep and mop every few days, I like to know what I’m dealing with. That is how I am in life. I need to know all the facts. I need to see it right in front of my face. I need every single detail down to what flavor gum you were chewing when you were walking down the street. I need to be able to see the full mess in front of me. There is no way to hide things on white.

Rob on the other way is vague. He rarely gets details. He barely remembers to ask the names of friends kids. Rob doesn’t mind not knowing. He lives his life like his black electronics. You can hide more with black. You can ignore it better. If you can’t see it, it’s not there.

Our relationship is that way. Black and white. I need to talk everything to death. Rob is content to not fix what isn’t broken. If I don’t cry or yell he would never know there was a problem. I hate that he doesn’t talk things to death. I want my husband to be bright white like my toys. I need to see all the problems, the flaws the issues. My husband wants me to be black. He wants me to live well enough alone.

I can’t believe something as simple as buying a new car in a certain color could really make me examine how truly different Rob and I are. The one thing about the two of us though, if anything we are constant. And while we probably both wish their was a little gray in each other, I’m not sure our relationship would ever flourish with gray. Gray is boring.

Do you ever have days where it seems you’ve lost control of your body? Where it feels as though you are just running on auto and have no clue how or what is happening? I’m having one of those days now.

I just left work to get lunch. I guess my body was telling me I needed to eat. I decided I would go to Starbucks for a mango tea and a veggie platter. The veggie platter comes with sugar snap peas, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots and celery. It comes with a very small portion of pesto dipping sauce and is tasty lunch. I got to Starbucks and no such luck. They were out. Next thing I knew I was in my car driving to another Starbucks. Again no luck, the next thing I knew my auto pilot kicked in. I found myself next door at Port of Subs ordering a MEDIUM (I haven’t been able to eat a medium since high school) extra mayo double cheese sandwich with all the regulars (dear sweet oil and vinegar where have you been all my life). Somehow I even grabbed a bag of chips. But auto pilot wasn’t done. Nooooo it carried me next door to Ben n Jerrys where a giant Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz milk shake appeared in my hands. The strangest part was how that pint of Peach Cobbler ice cream made it into my car. I swear some days it feels like I really have no control over my life. Thank God I got that bottle of water for good measure!

Can some one please tell me how my auto pilot got changed from rational to chunk n dunk?