Shit to discuss

I went to the gym during my lunch today which means I got home early tonight. I've already done the dishes and started dinner which means I have nothing left to do but sit here and blather on to all of you.

A few months ago I made a goal to buy smaller jeans the my husband.  About a week ago I finally bought them.  They fit. I was so fucking happy.  However, after that I realized that my husband always buys his jeans at least two sizes too big, which means that my other goal of having a smaller waist then my husband was not acheived.  His baggy jeans tricked me into thinking I had finally developed a smaller waist then him.  This bothered me for hours and hours last week.

The weather is warming up and the sun is staying out longer which obviously means it's time to sit outside and water my rosemary with a nice glass of whiskey and lime.  I will try not to drown myself in the hose while watering with a buzz.  It should be noted that since December 1st I've probably only had five total drinks. 

I've been bathing suit shopping. It's a little more fun this year. I ordered the cutest bikini from Victorias secret. I am still on the hunt for a one piece but I've been road blocked by the fact that my Reno stores haven't caught up to the fact that spring break is right around the corner and dammit women need at least a month to hem and haw over swimwear.

My bra size has gone down from a 38D to a 36D.  This is exciting.  Last time my cup size changed and I was not pleased.  This time only my rib size changed but I got to keep my D.  I am going to be devestated when I drop into the C cup area.

Little league starts soon and I am thrilled.  We have our own team this year (Rob is managing Codi's team) and then Rob coaches Brandons team.  I somehow managed to finagle making the team we manage be the Giants.  I am obsenely excited about this shit.  I am not excited about the four days of little league clinics I have coming up.  I am excited for the unlimited access to nacho cheese again when the snack bar opens.  Unresonable excited about that part. 

I've added in a second trainer.  He specializes in plyometrics.  Dammit.  I will be bikini ready by next summer.

Also, it should be noted that I jumped on the boxes at the gym this weekend. I've only been wanting to do that for three years but I've been too affraid.  Now I'm a box jumping pro.  I did three sets of ten, which might explain why my ass hurts so motherfucking bad today. 

That's all for now. I have to go make sure I didn't burn dinner while I was drinking, watering and typing.

PS, My spell check button doesn't work.  I am sorry in advance for all of the errors.  But not too too sorry.


I'm going to catch so much hell for this post. I don't care

I have been going 5-6 days a week and doing some pretty intense work outs.  This weekend I was soo sooooo sore and realized that going in and doing my normal routine of weights, stair master and running would only end up injuring me.  Instead I went and swamp laps until I couldn't breathe anymore.  It was nice and relaxing.  Last night I was feeling tired so I thought I would end my arm and cardio workout with a swim.  By the time I made it to the pool they were gearing up for an aqua aerobics class. 

Let me just stop here.  I think aqua aerobics is about the most full of shit thing ever.  Unless you are eighty years old go into the gym and do a real workout.  One whole side of the pool was full of overweight people standing around talking while the few of us who actually wanted to workout were smooshed into one lane.   I was annoyed if you aren't working out stand OUTSIDE the pool and wait.  Don't take up space talking.  I don't feel this way only about the pool, I feel like this about the gym in general.  Do not sit on a bike for 40 minutes chatting with a friend while all of the other bikes are full.  Please do not sit on the leg press machine and text for 20 minutes while never doing a single fucking leg press.  Do not come to the gym with a friend to stand around and look pretty.  Chances are you are getting in my way, and every other persons way who is there to actually work out.

Back to the pool.

I did my laps right up until they removed the lane and started the class.  Then the instructor came in.  I was confused.  The instructor was a big woman.  A very big woman.  I don't understand.  Why on earth would you take a class from someone who is not only standing outside of the pool and not participating, but who isn't in any kind of physical shape herself?  I was baffled.  I watched this shenanigan take place for a few minutes before leaving.  When I was done I was sitting at one of the tables drinking my protein shake and I watched a step aerobics class being taught.  The guy teaching the class had a bigger gut then me.  Again, I would never take a class from someone like that and expect to end up looking fantastic in the end.  If he teaches that class at least four times a week and doesn't look svelte how can I expect to take the class and walk out looking good? 

The trainer I pay to teach me about health and fitness is in tip top shape. His body is a fucking temple.  90% of the trainers at my gym have bodies in peak physical shape.  I see them eat, they eat well, they look good.  I realize that a class is a free add on to your gym membership and trainers cost a lot more money but the results I've seen since working out with my trainer are worth every single cent I've spent.

I am shocked that people do this.  That they take these classes taught by people who clearly have no realm of fitness and then expect their lives to change. Working out, real working out was a huge shock to my system.  There is a big difference between playing around on the elliptical and spending 5-6 days a week working out every single muscle in your body and doing 5 additional forms of cardio.  Perhaps these people aren't serious about their fitness yet.  Perhaps they really believe screwing around in the pool for 20 minutes three times a week is going to change their lives.  I don't know. 

What I do know is that this family:


Has made some serious changes in their lives

If you are ready to change your life and get in healthy and in shape I encourage you to seek out a professional at the gym. Find someone who will hold you accountable.  Someone who will encourage you to EAT calories.  Someone who will teach you the right calories to eat. Someone who will teach you how to work every muscle in your body and what order to work them in.  Someone who will push you when you feel like quitting and cheer you on when you move past a goal.  I know it's expensive but I'm telling you, it was the best money I've ever spent.  Spending money on a gym is worthless if you are going to waste it standing around talking or not working out to your full potential. 


Good luck!