Whatever we do, we will never ever talk about the cookies I just tried to make. We will never discuss how I dumped in a cup or more (I sooo wasn’t measuring) of vegetable oil in place of shortening. We absolutely will not discuss how I was out of chocolate chips so I lovingly unwrapped over 40 Hersheys kisses and mashed them in my food processor. We will forget about how I didn’t read the directions and just threw it all in one giant bowl and attempted to mix it all. And honestly we won’t talk about how after I baked them they smelled sort of funny and came out with burned bottoms and tasted like rotten shit! Nope, I’m going to go clean everything out right now and light a smelly candle so that in the morning when I come in the kitchen there will be no evidence of the cookies that never were!
Month: January 2008
Random tidbits for today
I call this queer eye for the straight home invader
Clearly the gallons of coffee I’m drinking are not affecting this one.
I have to drink that much coffee not because I have a newborn, noooo but because I have a 2 year old.
Seriously if I could bottle his energy and add some tasty fruit flavors I’d be a bazillionair by now. At night he starts going bonkers and it makes my brain tired just to watch him, never mind what it does to my body trying to keep up.
After I took the first picture up there Brandon looked at me and said “try again mama”.
And Codi just wants to sleep man.
I have a bunch of Hersheys kisses in my house right now. I can’t stop eating them and I’m supposed to be dieting right now. So last night I got this idea that I would cut em up and bake cookies with them for the hubs to take to work. That led to me dreaming of effing cookies ALL NIGHT LONG! This led to even stranger dreams about grocery shopping, and baking with Ginger, and boy my head was going all night long.
There is something only people with kids and pets can understand. That is the paralyzing fear that goes through your body when you hear a noise in another room. Not because you are worried your kid/pet got hurt, but because you are terrified of WHAT IN THE FUCK THEY HAVE DONE NOW. For example yesterday I heard a little bit of noise and went in Brandons room to see he had climbed on his dresser and pulled down all his dvds. He then pulled all the jacket photos out of them, and all the dvds out of the cases. Then he dumped out ALL OF HIS CRAYONS (he has like 60 that he has access to right now), pulled out all of his coloring books, took all the sheets off his bed, got down all his stuffies, rearranged all his chairs, thrown all the books off his table, pulled out the pieces to his play mat and was sitting at his table like an angel when I walked in there, and all I heard was a little teeny noise.
No wonder I’m so thirsty…I’m sucking the life out of me.
I have this irrational need to hurry up and replace any milk right after it is used.
My son has an irrational need to be in every picture I take.
I swear I’ve brought about 5 burp rags out into the living room in the last 24 hours, so tell me why I just had to go sprinting into Codi’s room to grab a rag when he spit?
Eeee haw
There is a reason I told people to stop buying my child toys. The kid would rather play with my 20 something year old toys then new ones. Seriously his most favorite toy is my old wooden shoe cobbler toy. Its got little wooden nails that you hammer through it with a tiny wooden hammer…That is his all time favorite toy and now he has the horse. So see stop buying this kid junk.
Wearing a tiny bathrobe makes two year olds cuter. (I believe this is what Em refers to as a dressing robe?)
Telling a 2 year old to stop touching his baby brother because he is sick is like telling me to stop touching Hershey’s because I’m fat. IT DOESN’T WORK! That would explain why Codi has been woken up about 895869845niner times this morning.
Clearly his cheeks are taking over the world…I can’t stop kissing him and saying numm numm numm, he probably thinks I’m really weird. It is so much different this time around now worrying that my child is getting enough to eat.
I’m a mission to see just how many Hersheys kisses one person can eat in ten minutes! Thats a good way to get em all out of the house right?
Bed time now involves all four of his current favorite stuffed animals. Not pictured but included in the bed are his tumbling tigger doll (Seriously full of parts so don’t know how he is cuddling it because it is hard but whatever), and Elmo. Every night he gets in bed and says Mama I need Alex (this means turn on Madagascar), then he says I need Elmo, so I give him his Elmo, then he says, I need Tigger, so I run around the house and find that, then he says I need elephant, so I give him that, and then he says he needs Memo, so I give him that. Then he makes me lay down and use elephant as a pillow and then makes Memo start talking adnausium while Tigger starts doing tumbles on my head…makes for a real comfortable cuddling experience.
Doing it different this time
My kids have some very cute clothes. However if you look at pictures of Brandon you would never know. Know why? I was always “saving” clothes for special occasions. I would say oh I don’t want him to wear this, we are just going to work and no one will see it. I’ll save it till we go to dinner or go see family. The next thing I knew he grew out of it and the cute stuff was never worn. This time around I found myself doing the same thing. Then one day I realized I was putting away super cute newborn stuff that again wasn’t worn. So this time Codi is wearing everything every day. Even if no one sees him in the clothes I can take a picture and send it out to family so they can see how cute my kids dress. So to my friends with new babies, don’t do the same thing as me. You might not be lucky enough to have a baby of the same sex the second time around to use it all.
My dad is a damn genius.
So recently I was whining about how long it took my water to warm up and stuff like that. Well my mom mentioned it to my dad who happens to own a heating and air conditioning company. So when I went to San Francisco he came over to surprise me and install some kind of recirculating pump thingy magigy (yeah yeah technical terms..not so good at them). Anyway Rob ended up helping him finish it and the thing is fricking magical. I turn on a faucet and BAM hot water. It is so freaking awesome. When I need to defrost breastmilk BAM its done in the time it used to take just for my water to heat up. If I want to shower I’m already done shaving by the time the water would have warmed up. When I need to wash my breast pump parts the water is hot and I’m done washing in the time it would have taken to stand there wasting water waiting for it to heat. I’m going to save so much money on my water bill not standing there waiting for it to heat up. I think this is my favorite thing my dad has given me.
PS I whined about my duct work and stuff too (I live in a track house = shitty HVAC job) and now I’m getting a super 90% modulating holy shit batman kind of furnace with a super mega 13 SEER A/C and a whole new duct job. It’s okay if you want to hate me. I won’t mention how I already have a pimp electronic air cleaner and humidifier.
And yes I’m bragging and whatever but I don’t care I can! It’s nice to have a dad in this kind of trade considering I CAN NOT be cold and my husband CAN NOT be hot. He he I love my new water. I keep thinking of things to do with it, or getting excited to wash bottle parts.
And I won’t admit it if I really do say BAM every time I turn on my water.
Look further then your nose
About 2 months ago Rob and I cleaned out the pantry. I had all these stupid tupperware lids and I got pissed cuz they didn’t go to anything. I also had some little Christmas cake molds and cookie cutters that I knew I wouldn’t use. I threw those in a bag too. Finally I had some drawer organizers that I didn’t want any more so I tossed em in the bag with the lids. The night that Ginger and I were going to bake I got pissed because I wanted the cookie cutters. I kept asking Rob where he put em. He said where did you tell me to put em. I said I dunno I think I told you to put em above the garage for garage sale stuff. We looked and looked and searched the pantry and I finally got pissed and gave up. The other day I walked into the pantry and grabbed this paper bag that was sitting on the floor and would you believe it had all three of the things I had lost. Sitting right there in plain sight. I mean RIGHT THERE IN YOUR FACE LIKE THIS. I couldn’t help but laugh because I searched high and low for that stuff. In fact I even got out my stool and looked on the top shelves, and got on my hands and knees and looked behind the bag that the stuff was in and next to it and around it but I guess I didn’t look in it. I’m still laughing at my dumb ass because every single time I walk into that pantry I see that fucking bag and I clearly see what is in it and I just don’t understand how in the fuck I missed it all that time before. So like my mom always told me…..LOOK FURTHER THEN YOUR NOSE SHANNON!
Brandon get dressed
Sucking it in like a runway model
Chunky monkey
Is it odd that my child is 6 weeks old and already in size 2 diapers? Brandon wasn’t in size two until he was almost a year old….wait maybe that is whats odd.
New addition
My husband reads this blog now. And after reading my post about how much I love him he has decided he wants me to write more about our fights so that my readers can get a full monty look at our relationship. I haven’t written about our fights much for two reasons…
1. I thought he would be mad because he always says I tell people too much.
2. My parents read this, and even though every couple fights they always think the worst if they hear Rob and I so much as fought over a paint color.
So while I’ve always told you Rob and I argue, because we so do and we are so normal and fighting is one of the most important part of a relationship, I’ve never actually discussed it. So watch out for my new addition to the blog. Shannon and Rob actually fight!
Would you believe my mommy is crazier then me
My mom is fascinated with my ginormous cheeks
misguidedmommy.com 