So back to the potty training bit. We’ve got the whole pee pee in the potty thing down great! Now, NOW if only I could get my son to stop pooping in his undies then pulling his shorts off and flinging tiny balls of poop ALL OVER MY DAMN HOUSE!!!!!!! He totally gets that the poopoo goes in the toilet, and he tries to carry it in there after he does it and most mornings he will actually go sit in there for a good ten minutes and take a dump. However it is the six o’clock at night poop we are having the problem with. This is when he’s far to busy playing to stop and poop so he just poops while playing. This also means that if he does try and make it to the bathroom mid poop the entire bathroom will then be smeared with poop. You can see which side of the toilet seat he climbed up on, which side of the bath he leaned on, where on the bathroom rug he sat down and so on. Yeah I do a lot of washing now!

ALSO! When he has to pee now he simply pulls down his pants and runs to the bathroom. SOOOOOO that means when I’m at Old Navy shopping with him and he does this in front of three very snobby women and then takes off running across Old Navy with his dangle flopping about everywhere I get a few dirty looks. But what it really means, is the third time he does this in the same Old Navy trips I get more then a few dirty looks and also cause one little boy to ask his mommy why that little boy gets to be naked and he doesn’t! Lovely!

Finally. How do I get him to stop exclaiming Mommy Poopoo every time I go potty. It isn’t so bad unless we are at the store and he announces in a public restroom, mommy poopoo followed by me flushing and him saying bye bye poopoo bye bye…mommy did it, mommy poopoo toilet. Yeah any assvice you can give me on how to make him stop doing that would be great. Duct tape perhaps?

My son is potty training as you all know. Now. Since my son is BIG BOY he won’t have anything to do with those dinky plastic fake toilets you buy for kids. NOOOO he wants to go “potty toilet” So we let him do that for a while and finally got him this tiny Elmo seat that fit over the big seat so he would quit dunking his asshole in the toilet water.

But since my son is all about monkey see monkey do, i.e. if I wear deodorant he wears deoderant, if I brush my teeth and use my hand to put water in my mouth so does he, if daddy wets his hair in the sink, guess whose head goes in the sink and if mom wears perfume you can bet your ass my son will come to work that day smelling like flowers and fruit! Soooo that also means that when he spends a whole weekend with his older cousins who don’t use an Elmo seat that my son will now REFUSE to use the Elmo seat.

So now, not only are we dunking our ass back in the toilet bowl cuz he is so skinny, we are also shooting pee out from under the toilet seat right onto mommies cute pink seude flip flops!!!!!!!!

YOU WERE WRONG!

After the great poop debacle this morning Brandon took a nap. He woke up from his nap and went to sit in his chair. I noticed about 10 minutes later he was now sitting naked in his chair. It seems he was sick of his diaper. A little later I hear my mom say that there is pee in front of the toilet. Turns out Brandon really had to go but couldn’t get up there in time so he went in front (his stool wasn’t there at work so he had a hard time climbing up). She talks to him about it and says were do you potty? Brandon says in the potty. She says YES. So a little later he jumps up on the chair in her office and pees right off her chair. They talk again about where you pee. She thinks that he must be done and decides to let him walk around in some shorts with no diaper. A little later he pulls down his pants, pees a little, stops and runs to the potty to finish and pulls up his pants. After a while my dad goes into the front office where our foreman Mike’s desk is. He notices a little streak of poop on the side of the chair. As far as we could figure out, Brandon had climbed up on the chair like a potty, pulled down his pants, pooped off the chair and pulled his pants back up. We figure that the dog ate the poop since we can’t find it. For the second time today Brandon is covered in poop, however it’s all hidden inside his pants. Finally he puts a diaper on, and goes the rest of the day asking to use the potty like a good boy.

I arrived home an hour ago and my mom calls me. She is laughing so hard I can hardly understand her. It seems that Brandon had actually climbed up onto of Mike’s desk squatted down and pooped on the center of his calender. He then slid down the desk onto the chair, leaving a streak of poop across the calender and desk, then down the chair, thus the streak of poop we saw earlier.

I was rolling when she told me this. I guess also, right at the time she discovers this, Mike happens to walk in to a nice fresh baby turd square in the middle of his calender. OOOPS!

So we are at work. Mom and I are talking and she walks into the other room for something. Suddenly she notices the dog chewing on a poopy diaper that is neatly wrapped up and put into the basket on Brandon’s Tricycle. She starts to wonder if she forgot to throw away a diaper yesterday or something. She walks into my office and looks at Brandon. He is fully clothed. We think for a minute and then say, “Brandon, did you poop?” He gets the hugest grin drops his pants and sure enough he is naked under his shorts. The little stinker pooped, took off his diaper, rolled it up, put it away, put his pants back on and went on like nothing was wrong. When she went in to clean him up he was covered in poop and his shorts were CAKED in poop!

Funniest thing we have seen in a long time. Brandon is doing great at potty training and wakes up most mornings with a dry diaper and then asks to go potty. However we are still working on getting him to poop in the potty. However, apparently he is starting to learn that the poopy diaper needs to come off.

However, now the dog is sad that we took away his baby poop snack!