I would be lying if I said there aren’t days I’m jealous you get to just go to work with out getting the kids ready. Today is one of those days. Walking into the bathroom to find your almost 3 year old covered in poop from head to toe along with the toilet, and whole roll of toilet paper, well, it makes me jealous of you. Finding the bathroom rug with a big pile of poop on it is far less fun then going to work at 6am. Realizing that your son tripped and fell while climbing to poop and then tried to wipe the poop off with a bran new roll of toilet paper, his shorts, and the toilet seat, makes me think I might even enjoy going to work at 4am. Having to plunge the toilet and then rush your kid to the shower makes me think, I wouldn’t even mind working nights. Then, walking out, to find your youngest has now puked everywhere because he was crying so hard from not being held makes me think working int he 100 degree weather would feel a lot like relaxing on the beach. Plunging the toilet again because all the poop and toilet paper still won’t flush, then cramming a shit covered rug into my clean washer, makes me wonder why I never got a job like oh, I dunno, being the Queen. Because I’m positive, the Queen of England never never never had to clean shit out from between her 3 year olds toes!

PS Having to pull the baby out of the car seat just to wipe a second helping of puke off him…makes me still jealous!

We are moving. I explain it better here, come over and look at the horrors we found today when we opened the doors to our new home. Welcome to my own personal hell.

http://watchusmove.blogspot.com/

I’m searching for some new furniture on Craigslist for my big move coming up. Among the things I’ve been browsing, a new kitchen table with more then 4 chairs, a king bedroom set with an actual headboard and more then one dresser, and a couch and over sized chair with ottoman. NO I don’t want to buy ALL of these things, unless each thing is selling for about $100.00. I’m basically looking and which ever one I find first wins. All of my furniture was bought when I was 13-18 years old needless to say the vast majority of it is pretty old, or just not keeping up with my current style. FYI the theme in my house is “nothing matches” so I’m not even being really particular, I just want something newish, comfy, well taken care of, and something that will actually last a while. I’ve learned a few things while browsing Craigslist.

1. “Comfy” anything is code for, this item is an old ragged piece of shit that is probably sagging in the middle.

2. “Very nice” means, sure, it was very nice, back in 1976!

3. “Antique means” This was probably made in 1980 but if I write “antique” more people will open my link.

4. “Really new”, also found in variations of, “like new”, “hardly used”, and “only sits in guest room”, this means it will be outdated, dusty, and funny looking.

5. “modern” means NO ONE is going to buy this and the rest of the world is going to wonder what the fuck you were thinking when you bought that

6. “Great condition” means they are posting a picture of the couch with out the giant rip in it

7. They only have furniture you are not looking for. Seriously I’ve found 5980836 queen, twin, full size beds and not one fucking king size furniture set.

8. If you happen to be looking for an armoir big enough to hold your TV, just stop your TV is to big. You over there, yours might fit, but, probably not because that would be to fucking easy and make you too happy!

9. If it looks grey, it’s really blue. If it looks brown, thats probably dirt. If it looks green, it’s probably mold, and no, those are cute little dots, it’s probably mouse shit!

10. If they list it as “must sell” thats because NO ONE WANTS TO BUY IT!

This weekend we (my mom, cousin and I) attended a baby shower. The girls mom threw the shower. When we arrived, the mom was not very nice. No greeting, no offering of drinks or snacks, she pretty much ignored us. I thought back to my shower, where the people hosting the party were friendly offering seats, drinks and anything else you wanted. I think it is safe to say we felt totally unwelcome in this house. The girl who is pregnant is carrying the child of my cousin so it’s not as if we were strangers, in fact we were the only other family besides the boys mom to show up.

As time progressed we were told to go eat. Then we were rushed through some poorly planned games and still treated pretty poorly. At this point, when I say we, I mean EVERYONE AT THE SHOWER! At one point, the mother of the girl even called her into the kitchen to lecture her on something or other, and I felt like that was a total mood killer. The worst part though was when my mom sat down and the chair cracked. The girls mom came thundering over picked up the chair and angrily flipped the chair over declaring, “THAT CRACK WASN’T THERE BEFORE YOU SAT IN MY CHAIR”! I stopped and looked over and was just floored. She didn’t ask if my mom was okay, she didn’t say, I’m sorry I feel so bad, or oh man are you okay that was awful can I help you, no she yelled at my mom. Then she grabbed the chair stormed off and threw it in a hall. Five minutes later we saw her standing on another chair to do something for the party. She weighed at least 200 pounds and was standing on her chair no fucking wonder they cracked.

Later, as her daughter opened gifts and received a ton of diapers, plus tons of notes from family saying they would be supplying diapers any time all she had to do was call, plus a shit ton of stuff from me, not one thank you was given. Her mom never said wow thanks guys this was so thoughtful of you, or gosh she would have never gotten all of this if it wasn’t for you.

Now would be a good time for me to say, the pregnant girl is 16. All of these people showed up for her, they bought her stuff, gave her stuff, whatever, and her mom never thanked them, or me. Her friends didn’t come, it was mostly her moms friends, her boyfriends sister, and us, with 2 other friends. I would have thought, at the end she would have thanked people for helping her daughter who has nothing, who is totally unprepared and is basically being ignored by her family. The people who showed up, should have been thanked.

There were so many more moments where I just felt so unwelcomed at this poor girls shower. You could tell how uncomfortable she felt too, being in this situation. Even when I won the game there was no, good job, nothing. Instead, they threw a box of gifts at me and said here take a present and then move on.

The lady got upset with Brandon for walking up and down the stairs. He wasn’t going in any rooms, or even stepping off the stairs, he was just going up then down up then down, and she got upset about it.

I remember both of my showers. I remember at the end my mom stopping every single person and just thanking them for being there for me, for buying me gifts that would help me out, for taking the time to be there for me and just thanking them for everything. Everyone felt welcome in my house.

In the end, we left feeling so bothered, feeling like our presence wasn’t appreciated. I also left wondering what the fuck happened to manners.