Tag: Brandon

DON’T MESS WITH HIS CHEETO’S

My son never falls asleep on his own. He always has to lay in my lap or sit next to me and just hang out until he falls asleep. However since he spent all day with my dad he got extra worn out. Whenever my grandma comes she always brings Brandon his own bag of Cheeto’s. Later in the day he realized the bag was sitting there and he got it down. He asked me if momma want Cheyo’s. I said yes so he gave me two and then 1/4 of one that was in his mouth. I asked him for some more he said no and ran away. After I while I realized it was way to quiet in my house. I walked into his room and I found my son passed out and overdosed on Cheeto’s.

If you make the picture bigger you can notice the Cheet’s stains around his mouth and on his face. He looks like a fat person who overdosed on powdered sugar donuts.
So apparantly all I have to do to get him to sleep on his own is wear him out and then let him sit in his room and eat himself stupid with Cheeto’s.


Night night all, I eat my Cheeto’s and I’m out!
by Still Crazy Still Blue

Brandon Randomness

  • Something new Brandon finally learned is to say your welcome. So now when you say thank you Brandon he replies, your weltome!
  • He likes to go in HIS room now and shut the door and watch his little TV and ignore mommy and daddy. I find this very cute.
  • He knows how to plug my bathroom sink and fill it.
  • When he goes in and plugs the bathroom sink he now dunks his head in the water and then stands there styling his hair in the mirror, I tried to capture this happening, below is the best I can get.

  • When you say I love you he says, “low you too mommy.” Sometimes he says “Low you much.”
  • He likes to bix it. Whenever anything is broke he says I BIX IT!
  • He has a mild crush on Minnie Mouse
  • He can now get his own stuff out of the fridge, however, he forgets to close the door.
  • I think he now things baby brover is a fat belly, I’m not so sure what he will really do when baby brover comes out and is a real person.
  • He kind of eats chicken now. Like two whole bites. Whenever Rob is eating chicken Brandon runs over, points and announces CHIGGEN!
  • If you are in the shower, he thinks that means he needs to be in the shower. With out saying a word he will strip down, take off his diaper, go on the potty, put down the lid, flush and then come over and open the shower door and climb in with you. This makes morning showers very hard when you are in a hurry.
  • He likes medicine as much as candy
  • He can go hours and hours saying, where pooh bear go, where wabbit, where daddy and so on.
  • Now when Rob is doing something he says, “oh daddy working.” Anything you do he says, mama working, papa at work. If you are using a drill, measuring tape or hammer you are bixing it.
  • He loves balloons. In fact now that he is anti potty training the quickest way to get him to potty is to offer him a balloon. If he sees a balloon he will ask you to flow it up. When it pops he announces that you poppa the balloon.
  • Now when he poops and you ask him if he pooped, you can tell for sure he didn’t any time he tells you NO I no poop. That means yeah I have a huge smelly poop right now but I don’t want you to interrupt my play time.
  • He still counts. When something big is going to happen, like a big jump or a cool move he counts to six. If it is little he only counts to three.
  • Everything is labeled by color. Red balloon, dreen poptickle, orange car. Somethings are simply just a color. I likea the blue. I no like purple. Both of these actually refer to an object but sometimes he will only call it by color not object.
  • He likeas a lot of things.
  • Not as many as he no like it.
  • If his nose is running or he sneezes, he runs to me and wipes his nose on me. If you say lets get a tissue he runs and wipes it on my pant leg. If you don’t go fast enough he will just lick the boogers off his nose.
  • When he knows he is leaving to go to papas now for the night he says bye to everything in a real snotty half assed wave kind of way. Bye Dora balloon, bye room, by house, see you morrow and just walks to the door.
by Still Crazy Still Blue

Above and beyond proof he is mine

All day Brandon has been requesting birfday cake. I have no cake so I basically ignore him. Just now we were going through the mail at work when he noticed an ad for Baskin Robins. He grabbed it and screamed BIRFDAY CAKE!!!!! In bold with exclamation points. Then he proceeded to take a huge bite out of the ad and try to eat the paper cake. We told him no, so he took off running sat on the floor, took a huge chunk out of a photo of a sundae then shoved his ad under his butt to avoid us stealing it. After trying to swallow about three bites he finally threw up. I said Brandon did you throw up.

His reply, “Yeah I frow up eye cream!” How desperate he must be to be eating paper ice cream!

by Still Crazy Still Blue

Don’t worry I get it

Brandon and I are sharing a drumstick ice cream right now. The last piece of the extra yummy chocolate coating fell onto my leg. Brandon says I GET IT MOM. He picks it up shoves it in his mouth faster then I can say “give me back my chocolate” grins and says I get it huh! Geeeee thanks for sharing son.

by Still Crazy Still Blue

Life with a two year old

  • Choglet nilp choglet nilp choglet nilp. Fine Brandon here is your milk. Nooooo mom shake it shake it. Mom skakes milk and hands it back…mmmmm I lika it choglet nilp.
  • Hold you hold you hold you hold you hold you hold you (translation, hold me)
  • Help me help me help me. Can be said when he actually needs help OR can be said when I am trying to change him, or put him in the shopping cart, or generally doing anything he doesn’t like. He starts screaming help me so it looks like I’m kidnapping him
  • Brandon turn off the TV. NO I turn off. Okay you turn off.
  • Okay lets put your shoes on. NO I put shoe on. Okay well put your socks on. NO I no lika sock. Fine no socks then. NO I put on sock. Okay well let me help you. NO I help you (translates to no I help me???). Fine do it yourself. I DO IT MOMMY I DO IT. Fine. Momma help me sock. Okay come here I’ll help. NO I do it sock.
  • Miggy Mouse Miggy mouse I watch Miggy Mouse
  • Where papa. He’s at work. Oooo papa wort. Where wabbit. He’s on the TV. Where eyore? Where pooh? where Mramaw, where where where. For the love of God child I don’t know where every damn person is every second of the day!
  • Show me show me. Now to the untrained ear you would think he means show him something. No this means he is going to show ME something but he doesn’t understand saying show you yet so he says SHOW ME! Any time he wants something he says show me then grabs you and drags you to where he wants you then tells you loudly SIT DOWN CHAIR. You better sit your ass down too or all hell breaks loose!
  • Fwo up mommy Fwo up. This means mom, take this little teeny ass balloon and try not to push the baby out while you attempt to blow this shit up fast enough that I don’t get impatient and begin jumping up and down mad.
by Still Crazy Still Blue

BRANDON CANDIDS

THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE WITH YOU ALL, MY SON, THE HAM WHO THINKS HE’S AWESOME

ALSO, MY CHILD LOVES TO GIVE ME BIG ROMANTIC KISSES


WELL AS ROMANTIC AS YOU CAN BE MAKING THIS FACE…HE DOES THIS NOW WHEN HE WANTS TO KISS ME


HIS ATTEMPT AT FISH LIPS


MAN THIS KID IS A FLIRT


YEAH HIS MOM IS HILARIOUS


THIS FACE IS GONNA GET A LOT OF GIRLS SOME DAY


I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS

MUCH LOVE TO THE LADIES
by Still Crazy Still Blue

Hard core proof..no blood test required

I’m not sure I’ve ever mentioned my husbands love of fast food restaurant condiment hot sauce on here before. To make it simple he really loves hot sauce, loves it more then I love chocolate. What this means is if we go to somewhere like Taco Bell or Jack in the Box (for their tacos) I have to ask for a lot of sauce. Then I have to explain to the cashier that no in fact that isn’t a lot I need A LOT. In fact he likes it so much this once prompted me to drive to every Jack in the Box in Reno and ask for hot sauce for two days in a row, then shove them all in little plastic Easter eggs for my husbands easter basket. Really people you should have seen the boner he got off all those eggs (and that was before he got to the eggs with free lap dances from his favorite strip club). It also means that if I go somewhere like KFC who sometimes leaves their sauce out I have to immediately steal all the sauce, then go ask them to refill it, steal the rest and run like hell. I probably shouldn’t even mention the time we walked into Taco Bell and Rob was drunk and I happened to mention that there was an entire box of mild sauce sitting right over there and before I knew it my drunk ass husband was kicking the box ever so discreetly right out to his car. That fucking box lived in my kitchen for months before he finished it all, AND YES HE FINISHED IT ALL.

Why so much sauce you ask? Well because silly, of course you need one whole sauce packet PER BITE!!!! What he does is squirt some sauce on the bite, take the bite then put the packet in his mouth and sucks out the rest of the sauce to finish his bite. This shit grosses me out to no end. I find it hard to believe as one packet of sauce can last me an entire meal. Now, when he orders something like a Mexican Pizza from Taco Bell that is when the horror show really begins. He opens no less then 24 packets and squeezes them all out over the pizza to the point that there is approximately a half inch of sauce in the little box and his pizza is floating (do me a favor ask my friends I do not exaggerate even a little when I tell you these things). In fact he puts so much sauce on the Mexican pizza he has to eat the fucker with a spoon since a fork will allow the sauce to run through the tines.

In case this isn’t bad enough, there was actually a time when I had to pay the guy at KFC $5.00 for a bag filled to the top with sauce just to satisfy my husbands need for two sauces per little teeny tiny chicken wing.

Sooooo that being said, just now when Brandon picked up a pack of Taco Bell sauce (because yes we do have that just lying around our house, now I’ll thank you kindly to shut the hell up about it) tore open the top and sucked out the entire contents then looked at it and sucked some more…it became crystal clear…we don’t need any fancy DNA testing here…this kid belongs to my husband with out a doubt!

by Still Crazy Still Blue

Good parent vs Bad parent

The good parent (my husband) says baby, you shouldn’t let him do that he’s gonna smack his head on the paver.

The bad parent (me) runs and grabs her camera to get pictures of it..

One two freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


This is awesome woooooo


I’m such a bad person
by Still Crazy Still Blue

Am I really….

I was just driving back to work behind a mini van when I noticed she had 5 thats FIVE identical student of the week at such and such elementary school stickers stuck on her car. Now I’m freaking out. Am I realllly reallllly supposed to stick those things on my car? Uggg people I am sooo not a putting stickers on my car kind of person, let alone ugly student of the week ones. So really, am I a bad mom if I don’t?

My only comfort right now is that I’m pretty sure NEITHER of my offspring will be able to behave well enough for a whole entire week to receive one of those stickers!

by Still Crazy Still Blue