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Sitting here waiting for my son to come out of school so I have some free time. I’ve been thinking of this for a while now an I’ve concluded that I have exactly one real true thing that I would put on a bucket list. To learn to play the guitar. Real guitar. Country guitar. Real country, not the pop shit on the radio now. Guitar like Hank, or Willie, or Waylon. That is it. To have my own guitar and learn to play.
Maybe I should think of more stuff for my bucket list eh? What about you? What is on your bucket list?

You all know I gave in on the booster seat.  And I gave in on the light up shoes (but only Star Wars ones and only the ones with out the lame plastic looking stickers on the side). I haven't given in on the door locks YET.  But there is on thing I flat out refuse to give in on.

Dear blog friends of mine, I cannot, CANNOT, send my son to school without matching shoes.  His shoes must match his shirt, or his little jacket or something.  I can't let him wear a green shirt with red Star Wars shoes.  I can't let him wear all black with brown shoes.  I can't let him wear a green shirt without his green Converse.  I CAN'T DO IT.  I don't' care if they are only in preschool or first grade and that no one of importance sees them, BUT I SEE THEM.  My husband always says Codi's only in preschool just send him in anything. 

MY BRAIN DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.

I walk into preschool and see kids with brown pants and a purple polka dotted shirt and yellow light up ugly shoes and a neon orange head band my whole brain implodes.  How did they do that?  My brain can't wrap around non matching things.

Do you remember Rosie from the Jetsons?  She went berserk one day and started cleaning everything saying, "There is a place for everything and everything has a place." Well in my head it is, "There is a shoe for everything and everything has a shoe."  Maybe it's because I have boys and their shoes are just about the only accessory I have but for whatever reason I can't handle sending my kids to school in outfits that don't match.

 I may have given in on the car seat…but on the shoes NEVER!

Don't be fooled by his cuteness though, he totally chewed up every tissue in the trash every morning this week destroying the bathroom right before work.

But don't worry I took him to the park and made him run a mile then walk a mile and now he's doing this.  It might last a whole 15 minutes but I'll take it.

I'm getting colonics tomorrow…Please submit horror stories now.

 

Just how bad is it gonna be?

Some of you may be familiar with my posts about Jack. If not here is the link to the post that describes my feelings about Jack and another one here.

Tonight was one of the first times that I've truly tested my theory of Jack.  You see as I mentioned before I have trust issues.  So you can imagine my…what's the word…utter despair?? Today when I found out I was being lied to.  By family.  Not even that, but using Jacks theory I argued for this persons honor.  I argued that they weren't gambling again, that they weren't lying to their family again, I FOUGHT FOR THEM.  In fact it wasn't until I drove to the casino and had the cashier tell me to my face that yes this person was DOING IT AGAIN that I believed it.  I was heart broken.  My kids came to mind, my family, my own selfish anger at being let down again but mostly I feared for my dad.  Because I knew that as much as he would never admit it he was the one getting hurt the most out of all of this.

I came home and told my husband point blank that this person was never to see my kids again.  I got angry.  My husband tried talking to me.  He tried telling me that we had to forgive this person, stand by them, be there for them. I got more upset.  I started crying and asked him how many more times he would want his wife let down.  I asked him if he would be fine when it was a few years down the road and it was his kids crying in front of him because of this person.  I asked him if he liked seeing me sit there crying?  I was pissed.  How many more times in my life is this going to happen. My husband said simply, "maybe this time if we all stand by him and watch let him know we won't give up the outcome will be different this time."

I walked out of the house in a huff.

I went over and started talking to the person and while doing that I saw the bracelet on my hand.  WWJD

WHAT WOULD JACK DO?

I then remembered his sons words at his fathers funeral, "my dad didn't do things for other people for a thank you or a payback, he did them to know he did the right thing and he helped someone out.  He only ever did what he thought Jesus would have done."  Suddenly I changed my tune.  I realized that walking away from this person was nothing but selfish on my part.  I realized that jack would have stood by his family, Jack would have never just walked away, he would have pulled everyone together and supported his family.  

I talked to my family member and told him that as of now I was going to do that.  My family (husband, kids) were going to support him.  I saw him suddenly open up a little, I saw him recognize what had happened.  I don't know what the out come will be but I do know that I will sleep better tonight knowing that I didn't just run away.  I will feel better knowing that this wont' be a repeat of when my grandpa died and I didn't forgive myself for months that I had stopped speaking to him for 2 years over something little.

Tonight I feel like I made a grown up decision.  I made a decision I can live with.  I did what Jack would do.  I stood beside my family.  I supported someone.  I made a good choice.  And if he burns me again I don't know what I will do…but if he DOESN'T I will be so proud of myself knowing that I was part of this. That I helped him past this bump in the road, that I helped his recovery.  I think at this point I would rather know that I was part of the solution then spending the next ten years wondering if I was part of the problem.  You guys know how I over analyze things.  You all know how my brain never shuts down.  You know that if I had walked away and he regressed that I would have beat myself up over it for years.

So, here is hoping Jack is right.  Here's hoping I made the right choice tonight.  Here is hoping that having a little faith in Jack, Jesus and my husband will get me somewhere.  

Thank God for tiny little blue bracelets to remind me of what is really important in life.

Thing one: When will I learn to wait 45 seconds to take a drink of my tea after I take it out of the microwave?  How many times did I burn my mouth yesterday? EVERY TIME I USED THE MICROWAVE TO REHEAT MY TEA.

Thing the second: I'm giving up gluten, coffee, dairy and most sugar.  I'm keeping the honey.  So last night when I baked these I was in hell.  I didn't take a single bite of them.  

And this morning when I woke up to see them again, with the glaze all dry and crispy and I knew how delicious they were I was even more grumpy.  Why does everything good in the world have gluten & eggs?

Numero trés:  I love raising chickens.  It is so much fun.  They are so cute and loving.  I love how the little dorks sleep out in the rain, the snow and the wind.  They don't even care what the temperature is they are just going to sleep on their little perch.

 I love collecting the eggs and I love watching them take dirt baths.  I promise, this is how chickens get clean.

#4 This is what I do at my second job.  Every thing on this plate contains eggs, gluten and dairy.  Do you know what it is like to do this all day and never take a single bite.  But look how pretty my work is.

5: I have had at least 3 kids at my office every day last week.  They were driving me crazy.  Finally  my dad stepped in to give me a hand.  Finally some peace and quiet!

And the best part is Brandon and his friend thought it was hilarious!

Number 6: The winner:

You guys reading your stories was HILARIOUS.  I loved it.  I wanted to pick based on who had the worst story but they were all pretty bad so I did a random number generator and the winner is #4

Rachael said… 

I sure hope you are doing a random drawing, because if you are actually judging on the mortification factor, I think Kim wins hands down. I don't really have any except for the other day I got home from being out and my mom had been babysitting my kids, she is super nice and always picks up the toys at the end of the night… at some point after she'd left I noticed a toy on top of the cable box in the living room… I have no idea if she found it and put it there, or if the baby had found it and brought it out… I will never know because it's not like I'm going to ask. So, yeah…

 

So Rachael please email me with your address so I can mail you your prize!

 

And as a runner up, since I got two of them Kim you are also winning a double bullet for this entry because OMG.  Please email me your address.

Kim Mueller said… 

My son was 6 at the time and when I placed my one and only toy order they sent me two of the smaller vibrators with a changeable tip. Although this one doesn't look like one at all so used the extra one as a massager on my head when I got a migraine. Promise. Well, it was under a pillow from when I had a migraine the night before and I had no idea Little Man grabbed it and took it in the car on the way to walmart. I heard this noise coming from the back seat and some giggling and immediately knew what he had. So I asked for it back and he said, "But mom, it makes my penis hard." I was mortified and asked for it back again and he said, "Mom it feels SO GOOD!" OMG. So I threw it in my purse and did my shopping in walmart…ever so careful not to accidentally pull that out of my purse. OOOOOPS. Is it not super funny that my first captcha was HOR!!! BWAHAHAHAH. Just missing the W and the E.

 

And because I felt so bad for Jenna S I am awarding you a $5.00 Starbucks gift card.  Please email me your mailing address. Or if you have an iPhone I can email you the code to input into the Starbucks ap and you can use that to purchase coffee.  Here is her entry

 

Jenna S. said…  Okay, I am going to leave two comments, not so much because I want 2 entries, but because I am not so sure if the first counts… I was lounging at my folk's house one day and Ma asked if I would help her clean her bedroom. I figured what the heck she's getting older and it would be nice of me. We were almost finished with the room when she says "I have some things you can have if you want them" and heads for her dresser. I'm thinking clothes she doesn't want or that don't fit. She starts out by pulling some naughty undies and such out saying that they are new she was never brave enough to wear them. I mean they were naughty enough I was wondering if I was even brave enough, lol. Then she proceeds to pull out some plastic bags. I think there was like 3, but I can't remember so well. She looks into the first and says "not this one". From the second she pulls out a dual pleasure dildo…at this point I panic. She hands it over to me and says I never opened it. At this point I am done…I just walk away pretending that nothing has changed, but knowing I am dying on the inside. Now let me tell you about my mom so you understand just how astonished I was. She was like 50 when this happened. We've never discussed or bordered any naughty subjects…I am one of those adults that for some odd reason think that their parents didn't have sex to create them, so yeah.

 

All day long all I wanted to do was mop the floor.  I went to my office and got the mop bucket and then remembered that it was broken.  The handle where you drain the water was having problems.  But never fear 

SUPER HUSBAND TO THE RESCUE

He got this brilliant idea to drill holes in the mop bucket and bolt down the handle.  It totally worked.

Up until I put water in the bucket.

Because you know…WATER COMES OUT OF HOLES.

So here I am filling up my bucket and I look down to see my kitchen carpet soaked and a trail of water across the kitchen.  

He says, "oops, it seemed like a good idea at the time."

So now, in order to finish mopping my house we have to adventure to Home Depot tonight so I can finish mopping my house.

HE DRILLED HOLES IN MY MOP BUCKET!!!!!!

I'm shaking my head so bad right now.

He's laughing.

I've discovered a new form of therapy.  

Baking.

I help out a local caterer here in Reno baking and cooking and what not.  During Christmas she asked me to help her make cookies.  At first it was frustrating. Baking 300 cookies I couldn't eat (stupid eggs).  But after a while it became so therapeutic.  Rolling them out was peaceful. Cutting each little shape made me smile.  Watching them bake to perfection knowing I had done that was a little powerful.  Then, decorating each and every cookie by hand I felt immense relaxation.  Piping ANYTHING is a tedious job.  When you have carpal tunnel it hurts like a motherfucker.  But, I love it.  So when she called me last week and asked me to bake I didn't care that I was dead dog tired, that my hand hurt, that I was over scheduled I jumped at the chance.  As expected after three days in the kitchen I was elated.  I had accomplished something so big and pretty in the time frame I was supposed to.  I'm headed back in tomorrow to pull a double shift.  That means I'm going to attempt to roll, cut, bake and pipe 3 dozen cookies all in one night.  I can do this right?  I love being in the kitchen because I'm either there alone which gives me a lot of time to turn Willies Roadhouse on the satellite radio and think, or I'm there with her and while we do talk a lot of time it's just two women working to accomplish something.  

I love this stupid little side job.  Somehow, even though I've never thought of myself as a baker I've grown to love it.  I'm pretty damn good at it too.  Just ask the chocolate cupcakes with fresh tiramisu whipped cream, or the cranberry white chocolate bars, or the lemon shortbread bars, or the cream cake with fresh berries and Zabaione that I lovingly cooked.  I love watching people eat the stuff I've made.  My favorite was the first time I made the flowerless chocolate bites with fresh whipped cream on top for a giant party, this lady sought me out to find out who made this amazing cake.  It was ME ME ME.  She praised me over and over and over then told me she loved it so much she was sneaking some out for her husband.  I walked on clouds for about five days after that.  

Here is what I was working on the other night. I'm not in love with the ducks but it is what it is.

In case you were wondering, that is 95 cookies up there.  My hand hated me the next day.  I've never been more proud of myself.  This is only my second time piping cookies.  Not bad if I do say so myself.  Okay, it's late I'm off to bed, I have a long day tomorrow.

I guess I haven't been to Target in a while because when I walked in today the entire store was different. I was forced to navigate the entire store just to find the bras and shoes which was smart on their part because that meant I walked through women's clothes, kids clothes, kitchenware and boys bedroom decor. I'm onto you Target. I see what you are doing and it was smart. Very smart. Well played Target. Now you go explain the bill to my husband.   

 

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