How a funeral made me a better person

I listen to this stupid radio show and one of the guys always says, "In light of eternity."  I love that statement and I've worked on using it.  If Rob and I are about to get in a fight I ask myself, "In light of eternity how important is this fight, is it going to matter in a week?"  I've started incorporating it into my life and it is helping. But the biggest change in my life came a few weeks ago when I went to a funeral.  

I am not a huge religious person.  I am just learning to believe in God and I currently refuse to "choose a religion."  Right now I'm hoping that God will love me no matter what.  I went to this funeral and this man, that my family is kind of close to began speaking about his father and he said something and in that moment my whole mind changed.  He said, 

"My dad lived his life like Jesus, he did things for people without wanting anything back.  He didn't do stuff for recognition, he didn't want a thank you, he didn't want recognition, he didn't want plaques, he just tried to live like Jesus would and help as many people as possible"

I can't tell you how much that resonated with me.  I'll be honest a lot of my family isn't that way.  They do something for someone, save it in their memory and bring it out later wanting something back.  I started thinking back in my own life and realizing I DID THAT TOO.  

There were two memories that stuck out.  One was sending something to a blogger buddy.  Something I knew her and her family would love.  Then, later wondering why she didn't post about it on her blog.  People in my life asked the same thing, why didn't she post it.  I wanted the recognition.  I wanted people to know that I SHANNON MATEO had sent her something.  I was pissed.  Looking at it now, I think, "how silly.  Silly, I know she loved it, that is all that mattered." Why on earth would I feel like I needed that recognition?  I feel bad even having those thoughts.

The second memory, is recently loaning a friend money to pay her rent.  For the longest time everyone asked me if she was going to pay me back.  In the back of my head I didn't expect payment.  I always hoped to be paid back but didn't "expect" it.  But a lot of people in my life couldn't believe I would just give someone money. I look at it now and after hearing that speech, after attending that funeral all I can think is, I kept a roof over their head, I helped a friend, that is all the repayment I need, seeing how thankful she was that day.  

It is strange how something so small can make a person reflect so much on my life.  All I can hope now is to pass the wisdom of that day down to my children.  I want to teach them to help others for the right reasons.  Teach them to never expect anything in return.  

I was so amazed that day.  Sitting in this church, mesmerized by the beautiful building, not because it was a religious building but just because it was beautiful.  It was celebrating a beautiful family, a family who lived their lives the way I want to live mine.  The other thing that stunned me was the funeral itself.  Every funeral I've been to was sad.  It was in a pathetic room with no love, no real memories, no real REFLECTION, but this funeral it was, every thing I would want for my own.  Everyone spoke with love.  People spoke of this man as a hero.  This wasn't a sad day it was a celebration of life.  I'm glad I witnessed that.  I am glad I know it is possible to have that.  I am glad knowing there is hope for my kids.  

I only hope I can continue to be strong enough to keep this up, to keep teaching my kids this way of life.  To trust that everything happens for a reason and that it will all come back to us somehow.  This man who died had cancer, he was given two extra years.  I believe his life choices left him with the reward of two extra years.  I can only hope that I can teach my children to be stand up men.  Men that in the end are remembered as heroes.  Remembered with no bad memories.  I hope I can be remembered that way.  I hope I never forget the words I heard that day.  I hope I continue to trust in some kind of God, and I continue to learn to live as he would, to live as the BEST SHANNON I CAN BE!

At the very end of the funeral, Ricky the man speaking about his father (Jack) said, my dad lived his life following WWJD but now, for the grand kids, and the friends now, instead of What Would Jesus Do, it will stand for WHAT WOULD JACK DO???  I must tell you, that since then every day I have asked myself, "Shannon, What Would Jack Do?"

The shame gets worse

Last week I posted about 5 things I was ashamed of.  One of those things was;

5. I am still upset about Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth breaking up.  To be honest I'm a little devistated, I had high hopes for those two.

I received a comment from Clutterholic that said;

Clutterholic said… 
I'm ashamed that I know Liam visited Miley in South America this week and she tweeted she was with her boooooooo.

Y'ALL I NEARLY DIED. I've never run to Google so fast in my life.  I spent my morning Googling every site I could, searching pictures and finding PROOF that MIAM is back.


I'm ashamed of how excited I am by this but if Miley and Liam can work it out then things are looking up people.  Lets start praying for a wedding and some babies!

Uncle….white flag….I QUIT

I give up on the sickies.  I give up on being quarentined.  I give up on trying to keep this house cleaned.  I give up on this dog.  


With no kids.

And no agenda.

Not to the store.

Not to work.


Five things I am ashamed of today

1. I follow Jusin Bieber on Twitter.

2. I don't care that I am 13 years older then him I have a pretty large crush on him.

3. I cried TWICE watching Toy Story 3.

4. I hate packing lunches in the morning.  HATE IT.  I do it but I loathe it!

5. I am still upset about Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth breaking up.  To be honest I'm a little devistated, I had high hopes for those two.

(Sadly I could have posted more then 5 things, and they could have all had to do with Justin Bieber….I have issues)


Post It Note Tuesday aka I can't unsee that!

Only Parent Chronicles



After my second 5k finish (the race I won't talk about)

Whooping cough gets you a sexy face mask at the doctors office

Little man has to do respiritory treatments for the week

Sick mommy and Codi

Brandon out!

Before my first 5k


After my first 5k (he ran half marathon)

He took me out to a ball game!

It is my own fault my couch was covered in vomit

We are all sick at my house.  Okay not true, husband hasn't vomited yet….YET!  Yesterday Codi finally caught the bug.  He was laying on the couch, sat up and vomited.  Here's where it gets interesting.  Brandon had already done a number on my couch covers.  He had vomited on two of them and two pillows.  He had also vomited on two towels.  So I had a blanket covering the remaining cushion cover and pillow.  Codi started vomiting and I ran over and caught all of it in the blanket.  I was so happy with myself.  Supermom HELL YA.  I got him off the couch and undressed and then went to roll up the vomit covered blanket.  Somehow instead of softly rolling it up, I managed to FLIP the side full of vomit thus spraying chocolate brown puke all over my one remaining cover, pillows and NON COVERED COUCH CUSHION. 


I kinda froze.  My mom grabbed the couch cushion ran outside and went to hose it off.  Then she stopped and asked if I wanted to take a picture for my blog…You will all be happy to know I declined to take a photo of the vomit covered cushion.  Everything went in the washer and I was left with only one couch cushion. 

Lets tally this up.  Since Wednesday last week the following have been washed:

Couch cover A x2

Couch cover B x1

Green pillow A x2

Green pillow B x1

Rainbow towel x3

Blue towel x1

Couch cover C x1

Rugs x3

Sheet set (Brandons room) x1

Favorite blanket x1

Rags x 1100438849093827

It is also worth noting that the dog has parasites and his medicines are causing him to have diarrhea (someday I wanna spell that without spell check), so I have also cleaned the carpet twice, the entry, the entry rug, and the door jam (yeah how did he shit there). 

I have whooping cough, my mom too.  That means the cough medicine I've been guzzling has done nothing but laugh at me. It's also worth noting that I've had to change my undies about 17 times from cough induced peeing.  I've also puked in my hands, on myself, in my hall and in my mouth because the trash in the downstairs bathroom was moved into the downstairs living room without me knowing, so when I had to puke while peeing I was totally screwed. 

What else? 

Coughing has my my throat so raw it feels like it's bleeding and peeling.  I have no throat lozenges so that's been great.

My husband went out of town over night which was awesome because it was the night my five year old decided to have the sleep shits.  Three times he woke me up to tell me his butt felt wet.  Three times I had to change him and help him back to bed.  Twice he woke up Codi who I also had to convince to go back to bed.  Both times woke up the dog who wanted to just bark and make noise waking both kids up again.  I guess when your five year old hasn't eaten in three days and only drank water he's gonna pee out his butt.  I felt pretty bad for him, he had no idea it was happening. 

The dog has had a heyday with all of the tissues.  He has managed to get at least 73 out of the trash and shred them all over the house.  Nothing more fun then cleaning up vomit and snot covered tissues from every crevice of your house.

I look ridiculous.  Husband tried to talk to me on our phones with Facetime and I wanted to cry at how awful I looked.  I was sure he wouldn't come home after seeing me.

I haven't run in 8 days.  The last run was awful (still not telling you why) and I've been sick as a mother fucker so running is just no good.  Ran about 10 feet with the dog today and nearly died.  Need to get my ass in shape though or I'll die during the odyssey

That's all for now.  I need to clean up some shredded tissues and find out where my kids have puked now.

Have a nice day.  I sure am!

Of course I still have the first email my husband sent me, stored safely in my Yahoo! inbox Thank you to Yahoo! Mail for sponsoring this post about staying connected. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

It is funny to me how important e-mail has become in my life. At work, customers ask if I can just email them a proposal instead of putting it in snail mail. My husband sends his Christmas/birthday/Easter present wish lists through email. And, I broke up with my family via email instead of face to face the way I would have ten years ago before I had email.

I actually remember the day I created my email account. I did it at work. On the horrible Windows computer in my dads office that struggled to even turn on. I navigated to the Yahoo! page and created my email. I have to admit I also spent about an hour playing with background colors and picking what I wanted on my Yahoo! home page.

My daily horoscope

Travel & airfare deals

Movie times

TV listings

Hollywood gossip stuff (the only thing that still remains on my homepage with my email)

My background is now a picture of Robert Pattinson and I’ve done every upgrade Yahoo! mail has to offer but, for 11 years I’ve held the same address and kept almost every email.

My favorite part though, was the day I created an email for my husband. It was 2003 and we had been dating for two years. By this point I was a professional emailer. I would spastically run to my computer at work and check for emails (I never had any), and then go home and check again (If I was lucky I had one from Abercrombie reminding me to charge something on my credit card with them). I got the bright idea that if I made him an email he would be forced to email me and then I would have something good to read when I got home. We sat at the tiny desk in the dining room of the house he rented with a friend and created an email. I picked boy colors for the background and then went right home to email him. I still have the first email he ever sent me.

“it works thank you. hope you have a great day. im stuck now huh now i have to email you dont i. youre very sneaky:)”

Hot damn that is some bad capitalizing and grammer huh? I loved it. I was no longer bound by the 100 character texting limit I could really let him have it. Mushy love letters. You’re an asshole letters. Take me on a date letters. Hi I’m bored letters. Poor guy. He had to deal with a lot after that day.

The second email he ever sent me,

“hey sweetie- just wanted to say hi and ask you if youre doing anything tomorrow nite, friday. of course your not. youre going on a date with me to the movies. you said you wanted to go last week but we never got to talking about it again. so i guess i can stop playing ps2 for a nite and go out with you. 'a guy thing' plays at 705 and again at 9 something. i want to go to the 705 one. when you get off work, maybe get something fast and cheap to eat then go the movie k. well talk to you later. love ya-robert”

I love the “cheap” reference in there. I’m pretty sure we probably went to Bully’s.

But this is one of my favorite emails of all,

Subject: iloveyou

FROM: Robert Mateo

TO: shannon keefer

Thursday, April 24, 2003 10:04 PM


That is the whole message. He still does that today. Sends me a quick email just to tell me he’s thinking of me.

I have this email from when I was pregnant with our first child, we were married, I had a new last name, and from reading it we were both home sick,

“hey sweet heart. well i know you get sad when you dont get mail so here you go. your on the couch right next to me right now and im just waiting for you to ask me who im writing like you always do. if you do ill probly lie and say my dad tho. well i wish we were better so i could kiss you. i dont like not being able to do that. i hope i get better soon so i can get out of here. it sux staying couped up. i think my breathing is better….i think. i have a little stuff in my throat that i think i should be able to get out tomorrow or later on tonight. like i sed, if my nose was good i think id be ok. well i hope that brandon stopt moving around and you had a good nites rest. i'll be talking to you later on today for sure… you my wife….rob”

The first picture he emailed me of our son;

I’m amazed at what email has become in my life. I’ve used it to send him pictures to say I am sorry, kind of like this:

I use it to send myself reminders. I always have an email in there from myself to myself reminding me to post a bill in my checkbook, or order something, or put something on the grocery list. I’ve used it to talk to people I don’t have to courage to talk to in person. I use it to keep in touch with friends all over the world now. I share pictures of my family through email now. My phone is constantly making that little “bong” noise letting me know I have more spam mail, or that Williams Sonoma is emailing me more things that I can’t afford but can’t live with out.

Eleven years later and I’m the only one of my friends who hasn’t changed her email to a more grown up address, or changed it to a more businessy address. It’s still the same, slightly inappropriate Yahoo! email it always was.

Do you have your first emails?

Mom test, wife test, life test

Mom test:

I think kids ask you questions as a test.  If you can make it through 763 questions in one hour with out duct taping your kids to the roof of a moving car you should win a mom of the year award.  (I am waiting for those awards by the way, the mail man must have lost them).

Wife test:

I think men lose things on purpose.  It's like POP QUIZ: "babe where are my socks?" If you can find said socks without looking in more then two places you win a kick ass wife of the day award.  Bonus points awarded if you can find it in a place they "swear they looked already."

Life test:

If you can make it through a day of a puppy with a bladder infection peeing all over your house, two kids screaming MOM MOM MOMMMMM MOMMMMMM only to say, "uh, I love you" for the 945 time that day, while surviving a trip to Walmart with one child, trying to apply Sally Hanson nail thingies, water a lawn, and not burn dinner you should win a double glass of wine award.  Bonus points if you can make it the whole day without eating any of the fresh loaf of french bread staring at you.  Double bonus points if you can not take a spoon to the jar of Nutella for dinner.

Nerd test:

If you can make it through an entire episode of 16 and Pregnant without crying, you deserve an…never mind you already lose this award for admitting you watch this show.

Mah fancy new nails!

Is cold…nuff said

I'm over you Reno.  Over you and your sunny sweating my imaginary balls off days followed by I'm so cold I'm dripping pee sicles out here taking my dog potty.

Speaking of that, why does it take my dog 20 minutes to shit when it's freezing cold but only about 40 seconds when the temperature is all nice and fluffy out?

Brandon keeps having night terrors.  Only, not just at night, he has them during nap time too.  They scare the shit out of me.  He starts screaming, "NO I DON'T WANT TO, NO DON'T MAKE ME, NOOO DON'T DO IT."  Being as paranoid as me you know my head is going to take all of that the wrong way.  He remembers none of it when he wakes up and some times it can take upwards of five minutes to wake up.  Sometimes he can only be woken up by putting a soaking wet cold washcloth on his back.  He gets all crazy eyed and demonic and has some kind of superhuman strength, I'm talking this kid could kick Supermans ass when he is one of these dreams.  Some times he tells me he saw monsters on the wall and that when he opened his eyes he, "flashes them."  I don't know what ''flashing" them means.  When I asks he looks at me like I'm the biggest idiot to ever idiot and just says, "YOU KNOW MOM I FLASHED THEM AND THAT IS SCARY."

Thanks for the clarification kid.

I ran another 5K this weekend.  My time was great (for my slow fat ass) and it was nice out…but the run SUCKED.  I'm not prepared to say why yet.  Although I do intend to blog about it because I really need some advice and I just don't know how to google the right terms to get help.  But it's bad.  And it made the run suck and…I had to leave something behind at the end of the whole thing, which makes it really bad.

Brandon just informed me the other day that for the last year he has not been flushing his shitty toilet paper he has just been setting it in the trash.  I guess he got a little confused when we said wipes couldn't go in the toilet (I have a septic, if you have ever had shit back up and spray out of your shower you wouldn't flush wipes either).  Anyway now I'm wondering just what the fuck I've touched when I've leaned over to wipe my hand on a seemingly normal piece of toilet paper in the trash (think, emergency Codi booger on my finger disposal), ((NO I DON'T JUST USE DIRTY SHIT OUT OF THE TRASH, IT'S AN EMERGENCY PEOPLE)).

That's all for now.  Since I've been typing the dog has run off somewhere that way ——> and I really don't want to let him get so far that I get cold and start sweating popsicles out my tits from running after him or something.  Although, if it was cold I wouldn't sweat.  Oh wait, this is me….yes I would.

Here puppy pupppy pupppppy where are you.