You guys are going to be SO mad at me

First of all I want to say thank you for all of the concerned comments and e-mails.  I had no idea I was loved this much.  I do need to tell you more though before Jiff has a fucking coronary and Laine punches me in the eye.  I can’t tell you how many worried texts and e-mails I got from people thinking Rob and I were getting divorced because of my previous post.  By the way my husband says SHAME ON YOU for thinking we would break up, and that we would do it at Christmas.  But whooo boy I sure know not to leave you guys hanging like that again huh, you all think the worst…Sorry guys.

All the time I’ve lived alone I’ve never "really" had a place of my own.  Sure I owned a house when I was 18 but it was never really decorated set up to make it feel like MY space.  Since Rob moved in it has gotten worse.  He has always had some kind of space.  When he moved in the guest room was all his, he had a comfy chair and ottoman with his TV and all his game shit.  When Brandon was born we made him a man cave in the garage.  When we moved into the new house he again had his own room.  When Codi was born I allowed him to move all his game and TV shit into our bedroom.  Notice a trend here, I still had no where for me.  When it was time to move into our current house we decided Rob would again get his own room in the second living room.  The main living room would be mine.  But come on, everyone enters and leaves through that room.  You can’t go upstairs with out coming through my living room.  I obviously can’t scrap book or do art in this room, and the one time I tried scrapbooking on the kitchen table all hell broke loose.  The last straw came when the train table entered our house.  There was toys all over my fucking living room, it wasn’t even kind of mine any more and I was angry.  How could I read a book in my pretty comfy girly flower chair when my two asshole kids were fighting over something retarded like a piece of lint on the floor.  

That was it. I was fed up.  I moved the kid shit in Rob’s room (on one side of it, he still has an entire side with all his shit in it) and put my desk in the living room.  Admittedly I can now read a book in peace but I can’t do much more.  One day while stupidly browsing the Pottery Barn Teen website (it’s like crack) I came across this chair.

I showed my mom and said, man if this shit had been around when I was little I so would have wanted it, OR if I had an actual space of my own, a real office, a craft room, any thing, this was the kind of stuff I would want.

A few months back my mom and another girl in the office began purging all of our old files from the shed outside.  I thought nothing of it.  Then she had a window installed.  Still NOTHING.  Christmas morning they let me see my room.  Here are some pictures, it is no where near finished I still need to move ALL of my stuff into it but IT IS MINE.  Mine Mine Mine, not yours but MINE.

As you can see I AM MOVING OUT!  I am taking my shit and running.  No kids allowed.  No husband allowed.  No anyone allowed.  In fact my first response (before I knew what was in the room) was that I was taking my Twilight books and my bean bags and locking myself in!  Anyway, here are some pics of my new room.  I will take some better ones when it is all the way done.

 

When you walk in you see this.  Don’t you love my pretty pretty pink princess paint?  Seriously y’all I love the pink.  It just solidifies the fact that it is MINE NO BOYS ALLOWED.

This is my little sewing area.  I have been dying to learn to sew.  The desk was my moms from when she was little.  It had been in my house for a while but once I moved my big monster desk into my living room my cute little desk was tossed aside. I heart that desk.

This is my craft table.  I am already dreaming of the mess I can make with scrap booking junk.  I will also use this to measure my fabric and create my master pieces (ie…learning to sew in a straight line).

Next you will find my armoire.  This is where I plan to cram all of my junk.  Scrap book paper, scissors, stickers various scrap booking paraphernalia, sewing stuff, fabric, and any other girl thing I can possibly think of.

They also got me a photo printer with pre-cut photo paper.  I printed out my very first 4 x 6 photo right on the spot.  I can even wi-fi print and guess what I get wireless internet so I can take my computer into MY room and watch New Moon and Twilight with NO kids bugging me, and no husband making fun of my love for Edward.

My dad even loved me enough to give me my very own heater.  Phew, by the time we were done bringing stuff in the room I was sweating.

And LOOK LOOK LOOK!!! IT IS THE CHAIR!!!!

Then I realized my mom got me my very own Viking sewing machine.  That machine is smarter then me.  Seriously it took me about 4 hours to figure out how to thread the fucker.  But guess what?  She was smart enough to get me a class so I can figure that shit out.

And finally MY VERY OWN KEY! To MY VERY OWN ROOM.

 

And then since that wasn’t all enough my mom got me a class to finally learn to knit.  I’ve been wanting to learn since my grandma died and guess what I FAIL at teaching myself how.  So, someone is going to teach me and I am guaranteed to make a scarf by the end, so yeah, family you will all be getting scarves next year for Christmas.

Here is the wool yarn she bought me to learn with, it is so damn pretty I want to frame the yarn rather then knit with it.

 

And because I am special my husband finally got my slippers.  Let me tell you a little story about these slippers.  A few years ago my husband asked for some Ugg slippers.  I bought him these.

I thought nothing of them.  I have not owned slippers since Brandon was born.  Seriously I have really not had slippers in four years.  Very slowly in the last year I have found my feet sneaking into my husbands slippers.  They were the slippers of my dreams.  It felt like walking on clouds.  And every night my husband would come home to find his slippers upstairs by my closet instead of downstairs in the laundry room where he takes his shoes off every night.  Often I would get texts from him asking where in the hell his slippers where.  Every time the response would be, near my chair, my couch, my closet or any other place that I WOULD BE.  It drove him bonkers.  I started dropping hints that maybe just MAYBE I should get my own slippers.  Christmas morning when I opened the box with these suckers in them I was thrilled.  I crammed them on my feet and all but wished death on anyone who dared to put their feet in my little fluffy pillows of heaven.  Mine are a much prettier brown.

And because my husband would kill me if I didn’t mention this, I was also given the following by him:

 

And finally to round out the Christmas gifts I received this picture from my parents.

Doesn’t it totally remind you of the Christmas Story movie?

Bravery

I might be the only one brave enough to rock a New Moon hat on the way to the grocery store at 10am.

I have so much to say about Christmas.  SO SO MUCH.  But that is a huge post, so for now I will leave you with this.

I am moving out.

 

More to come later.

And then it just stopped

My mom took my car to Carson twice last week and my shiny white car came back  black.  I tolerated it for a few days but this morning I was done.  I needed it washed.  I went through one of those touchless washes for a $5.00 wash.  I pulled in and the little thingie started shooting the water and soap all over my car.  It went towards the back of my car and then….it just stopped.  I sat there for a minute thinking maybe there was a small power glitch or something and that maybe it would come back.  NOPE.  So I’m sitting here, my windows covered in soap wondering what the hell just happeend.  I pulled out, drove around and found an attendent.  He told me that somehow I had put my car in park about an inch too far from the sensor so after it went back the first time it just up and decided my car was gone and stopped.  WHAT THE SHIT!  He ended up getting me a new wash but seriously how does a fucking car wash thing just stop?  I felt like such a tool just sitting there waiting, especially since I found out that he had known and was just watching me sit there and waiting to see how long it would take for me to figure out what happened.  Awesome.

Finally someone else as demented as me

From the very first time I read the Twilight saga I have only  had one question.  Just ONE.  I’ve asked my friends who thought I was over thinking it, I asked my husband who didn’t want to hear it, I pretty much asked everyone and they all thought I was wacko.  But then the other day, reading Kat’s blog I found another person as demented as me. 

So now, since I’m not entirely worried you will all think I am…gross I will finally pose my question on here.

WHAT THE FUCK DID EDWARD AND HIS FAMILY DO WHEN BELLA WAS ON HER PERIOD???????

Helllllo massive amounts of blood.

Someone for the love of God tell me how Stephanie Meyer forgot to account for that!

It can't really be Christmas yet

I am failing at Christmas this year.  Want proof?

I have not bought a single present

This might be because I have not figured out a single present.  

That includes my kids, husband, family and friends

Zilch

I usually bake for Christmas which I so plan to do (because if Katie doesn’t get her cookie dough balls I might be permanently disowned), however I have zero idea what I am baking besides the cookie dough and hot cocoa

I am so lame that when my mom asked what I wanted for Christmas I answered SOCKS

Yes socks.  What kind of fucking moron wishes for socks at Christmas?  Me

I included photos of the type of socks I like

Because I wasn’t already lame enough

I have not made nor sent out Christmas cards

I have not even had the pictures taken of us for our Christmas cards

The idea of taking pictures kind of makes me want to barf

I assume no one would like a photo of barfy Shannon with cute family for Christmas

I seriously have NO IDEA what to get my husband

NONE

My husband the easiest person on the planet to shop for and I’ve got nothin

I might as well be sitting here with a blank stare and my tongue hanging out drooling like a fucking idiot

Seriously fail Christmas y’all

I need help.  Tell me something to get me in the spirit please.

Anything

A good joke

Some great gift ideas

How much of a moron I am

Really tell me anything!

 

I broke three nails for this

Rob and I don’t eat out often.  For a few reasons; 1. We don’t like to spend the money, 2. we are working out and trying to eat healthy and 3. we don’t like to spend the money.  Tonight after the gym though we were both tired and neither of us felt like making dinner. We hemmed and hawwed about dinner and decided to go home and have egg sandwiches.  However when we got home I was reminded that we had no mayo in the house.  There went my delicious sandwich.  I had been craving Port of Subs and Wing Stop sounded good to Rob so we decided to each take a little money from our personal fun accounts and get dinner.  I left to grab the food and as I was driving I remembered Rob saying he had no ice cream last night.  Since the wing place and the sandwich place were in the same center as Smiths I figured why not, what a nice surprise for him.  There was still time left until his wings were ready so I meandered over there and parked.  I opened my door, grabbed my wallet and stepped out only to IMMEDIATELY fall on my ass in the parking lot.  Yes.  I slipped, feet right out from under me in slow motion and landing on my ass IN MUD.  My wallet flew into more mud and my keys flew under the car.  So, I had to grab my wallet, roll over, reach under my car to grab my keys, pick up the wallet that I dropped again and then stand up while trying to maintain my dignity.  I looked around and luckily no one had seen.  Then I realized I had broken three nails.  The frustrating part of that is they were long so they broke all jagged and weird.  The more frustrating part is that I can NOT handle my nails like this I must clip them.  Since I obviously didn’t have any nail clippers in my workout pants I found myself fidgeting with my fingers.  I kept poking them to feel the weird break, putting them in my mouth wishing I knew how to chew nails, and then fidgeting some more.

I huffed my way into the store, grabbed the fucking ice cream and a carton of milk for the kids and walked up to the self check. BRILLIANT.  I had grabbed my "wallet" but I had not grabbed the little card case that I kept inside with my debit card.  Back out to the car I went slipping and sliding, grabbed my card thing, slipped back into the store, fidgeted with my nails, and paid for the fucking ice cream.

Finally I got back into my car after slipping twice and catching myself mere seconds before finding myself in the splits in the goddamn mud again.  I drove over to the wing place and hopped out to walk next door to Port of Subs.  When I pulled the handle it was locked.  What the?  I looked up and they closed at 9:00pm, it was currently 9:06pm.

So.  Let me get this straight.  I do a good thing, buy my husband some stupid fucking bullshit ice cream and I get screwed out of my sandwich.  I stood there fidgeting with my fingernails wondering what to do.  I ended up stomping in to buy his dumb wings, stomping back to the car, fidgeting with my hands a little and then driving off.  I had no choice but to grab something quick.  I did and I was on my way home.  When I got in the house I immediately ran upstairs to clip my nails.  I came down to find my husband eating his goddamn wings oblivious to the fact that there was a shiny new bag of COOKIES AND CREAM ice cream on the counter.  So I grabbed my shitty replacement food, opened it up and immediately discovered it was horrible.  

To catch you up at this point, I am at the table, my ass still wet, eating a shitty ass cold meal that tasted funny and tasted nothing like a wonderful Port of Subs sandwich on white extra provolone, no meat, mayo, lettuce, tomato and pepper only.  No I was sitting there eating something that tasted like it was scraped off the bottom of a fryolator watching my husband blissfully chow down on his stupid fucking asshole wings.  I have to tell you it took every ounce of strength not to spit on his damn wings.  Especially after I told him that my dinner was shitty and he said, "well why didn’t you just grab some mayo at the store and I could have made you an egg sandwich."

GRAB SOME FUCKING MAYO.  When?  When I was busy buying him ice cream thinking Port of Subs would still be open and thinking obviously I don’t need mayo since I’m buying a fucking sandwich with mayo already on it.

Stupid fucking wings.

And now I am a twelve year old

When Rob’s parents were here for Brandons birthday they bought us a Wii to replace the one that was stolen at our old house.  We only had one game this time, the sport one.  Rob saw a new Mario game and my eyes lit up.  I had to have that game.  This weekend my mom went to Winnemucca to help take kids who can’t afford a Christmas shopping at Walmart.  As a present she brought me back the Mario game. 

Yeah, I might as well be in 4th grade again.  I don’t want to share, I get all frustrated when Brandon goes the wrong way, I have gotten very competitive and basically I did not want to turn off the game.  I threw little tantrums when I didn’t get to play, or when I didn’t get to do it my way.  In other words I was very adult about the whole thing!

In fact I am about as hooked on Mario as I am on my Twilight books.  Unfortunately I can’t play Mario in bed the same way I can read a book. 

I am already wanting to google Mario cheats because there are so many things I really want to do.  How do I get to the canon on the map?  Can I warp? Are there any secret worlds?

So, if any of you happen to know some cheats you should for sure share with me!!!!

Have any of you played it?  Are you as hooked as me?

I feel bad for my husband because I don’t even want to share with him.  However, even though I love playing the game apparently according to my husband I "suck" at the game.  When I play with him he has a habit of telling to just float in a bubble while he passes the level 😦  I really frustrated him because I kept putting myself in a bubble right when he was about to die, which killed both of us.  Y’all I totally drove him nuts.  I think he wanted to throw my ass out by the 14th time I made us both die.  Psh, who cares right, that just means I can start over and be more familiar with level one.  

How sad is it that I only made it two levels into world 2.  Hmmm, maybe I really do suck.

Anyway, just wanted to update you and tell you what a child I am.  Strange how things are able to bring the little kid out of you.

Musical Mashup

You know.  Most of the time when you get in someones car and they plug in their iPod it is a little predictable.  It’s obvious whose iPod will be full of rap and R&B, who will be dedicated to only country, and whose iPod will be full of nothing but teeny bopper club shit.

I drove Brandon to school the other day and on the way back I plugged in my iPod to blast a new song I downloaded.  Here is what I went through the way to work that morning:

Nickel Back, Never gonna be alone

Toby Keith, Cryin for me

Rhianna, Russian Roulette

Dr. Dre, Forgot about Dre

Eminem, The real Slim Shady

Debussy, Clair de Lune (yes the Twilight song, yes I’m obsessed, yes you can shut the heck up)

Okay so talk about musical whiplash.  Not a single one of those songs has anything common (Dre and Eminem are at least sort of the same genre).  The worst part is all of the songs blended perfectly in my head.  You would thin the sudden change from Eminem to Debussy would shock me but NOPE it sounded just right.

So now I would like to know what is on your iPod?  Maybe you can even give me ideas.  I’m interested, let me in your head.

(The song playing on my site is the new download I was speaking of, makes me think of my husband so much, can’t stop blasting the damn thing, I heart Nickelback)

 

In honor of this I will finally do that stupid iPod meme going around

How does the world see you?
Hit or Miss (New Found Glory)

Will I have a happy life?
Hold You Down (J-Lo answers nothing btw)

What do my friends really think of me?
Welcome Back (Mase)

What do people secretly think of me?
What goes around comes around (Justin Timerlake, ouch, justin how could you betray me like this)

How can I be happy?
Hypnotize (Biggie)

What should I do with my life?
I ain’t mad at cha (2pac, um okay so, I should live my life being nice to all the assholes, riiight)

Will I ever have children?
I am..I said (Neil Diamond, perfect answer)

What is some good advice for me?
I don’t believe you, (Pink, okay got it TRUST NO ONE)

How will I be remembered?
I don’t care (Apocalyptica, huh, oddly correct if you listen to the words)

What is my signature dancing song?
I don’t know if I could make it with out you (Alabama, great slow song perhaps)

What do I think my current theme song is?
I gotta feeling (Black Eyed Peas)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
I hate everything about you (Seven Days Grace ahahahahahahahahahah correct)

What song will play at my funeral?
I hope that I don’t fall in love with you (Hootie and the Blowfish, this incorrect the right answer is Waiting For My Real Life to Begin by Colin Hay.  Look it up, it’s beautiful, and yes, I am that odd that I have a funeral song picked out, but it couldn’t be more perfect)

What type of men/women do you like?
I hope you Don’t Mind (Elton John, um are they eluding to the song or the artist because god I hope I’m not supposed to have a crush on Elton John)

What is my day going to be like?
I like to Move it Move it (from the Madagascar soundtrack, guess that means I need to spend the day in a good mood dancing like I’m awesome huh)