My husband has an unhealthy obsession with baseball. Scratch that…with the Giants. He loves to go to baseball games, watch baseball games, listen to baseball games. You get the point. I know nothing about baseball. When we met I knew three strikes and you are out and that's about it.
Whenever we went to games I would get excited because he was excited but mostly because the Giants never have a shortage of hot players. I was constantly asking questions though which drove him nuts. So one year at a game he got fed up and told me this was my one free pass. During this one game I could ask as many questions as I wanted but then I had to shut the hell up for the remainder of our lives. He regretted that so hard. I talked the entire game. It was hilarious. But I learned a lot. I walked away from that game sure that I knew everything about baseball.
I was so wrong.
The last game we went to I had about 17 more questions (he didn't think I would actually stop asking questions did he) and he rattled off all of the answers. I was confused. How on earth does anyone remember all of this shit? Some of the rules he spouted off to me made no sense or seemed pointless. After learning the rules I've gotten more into the game. I do have a small problem with cussing loudly at the TV and shouting at the players to run faster and I might be known to just start yelling gibberish when I have no idea what is actually going on but can tell it's something exciting.
Last night though I decided I quit trying to understand. My husband was trying to explain to me, "tagging up." Something about when there is a fly ball you can tag the base right when the guy catches the ball and then you can run to the next base. I was stumped. I thought if they caught the ball you were out. He told me that the batter might be out but the guy on base could still tag up and run.
Sensory overload. Too much information. My brain did not compute this at all. Then he tried explaining to me what the basemen are supposed to do during a pickle. I shut down. At one point I was so confused he offered to draw it out for me. Then he started trying to tell me position numbers and I was done. At that moment I understood exactly why he didn't remember anything that we say during a fight, or important dates, or..ANYTHING. How can a guy be expected to remember anything at all when they have all of this shit in their heads? I mean I have a great memory but this is overkill. When do they even learn this shit? He said they start learning it in little league and I'm wondering if there is a direct connection between grades dropping and learning baseball rules. Because I have no idea how anyone can be expected to remember algebra when their head is full of tagging up and pickle rules.
I still love watching baseball but I've decided to accept that half of the game will just never make sense to me. Because I am pretty sure I already forgot all of the position numbers he taught me last night. I for sure remember how cute Brandon Crawford is, and I know that Brian Wilsons contract is up this year so there is a chance he won't be a Giant next year and I'll have to throw a fit about it but….fielders choice, and errors and base hits and…..JUST NO.
I will keep this
and this in my head
He can keep the rules.