I was standing in the shower today when I looked up at my little shower caddy and saw a picture of a cows udder staring at me. At first I was baffled. Then I realized that it was in fact my shower mirror pointing down toward my saggy droopy sorry excuse for a left boob. Great. Just great. Now I have cottage cheese thighs, a jiggly fat butt, invisible feet, and cow udders.

From now on just call me mooommy