Back from the dark side

I finished book four yesterday. I think I read all four in about 5 days. I must say the Twilight series might be the best set of books I’ve read in a really long time. I loved how it made me feel emotions. I was sad, mad, happy, hysterically crying, and furious at least once in every book. Every character made me mad and every character had some redeeming quality that made it so I loved them a thousand times more then I hated them. I dreamt about the book and thought about the characters and sympathized and empathized and just plain fell in love.

Yes. I feel like a dork. Yes. I told my husband I had a crush on a vampire and YES I really really do have a crush on a fictional vampire.

I love how this book was never written to be about traditional vampires. It wasn’t all blood sucking and coming out at night. The book was never based on common myths and while of course the whole thing is fake the book is written in a way to make you believe it is TOTALLY FACT!

I would be lying if I said, the same way Sundry is consumed with zombies, I’m now convinced my husband is a secret ware wolf and both of my kids are half breeds, which is because of course I’m a secret vampire. Why else would I be so cold all the time, and why else would my husband radiate heat through me so well and why else would Codi have so much fun biting my boob when he nursed?

Not much else has been going on. This last few weeks I’ve been having the WORST round of vertigo. I go to bed spinning like some drunk idiot and wake up swaying and rocking so bad I nearly dropped Codi walking from my bed to the door the other day. I’ve been nauseous and just plain feeling shitty. You know that feeling girls that you sometimes get once a month where you feel like an empty cavern. Like even though you’re not hungry you feel like you are starving. Like nothing can fill that void. That is how I’ve felt. I tried going back on iron to see if it helped. I messed with my vitamins, I ate a little different and nothing helped. I remember last time this happened I spent hundreds of dollars to hear the doctor tell me that with vertigo you have to wait it out. I know there is a pill I can take when vertigo gets too bad but of course since I’m nursing I can’t take it.

Codi had his first birthday this weekend. As soon as I get the pictures off Katies camera (my battery died right when we walked in) I’ll show you how my son showed his cake who was boss. He has his 1 year appointment this week and I’m sad because I know he won’t make the weight requirement to turn around, hes one freaking pound short. I’ve gotten him to eat saltines and pancakes right now and that is it. Even now I put some cinnamon sugar toast in front of him and he looked at me like I just tried to feed him fois grois. Just to be clear if that was chocolate toast he would totally be eating it.

This just in, Brandon just sneezed a booger so long it DANGLED into his cereal bowl. Eww. Good thing he was almost done.

My parents let Brandon have their copy of Toys R Us Biggest Toy Book Ever. He now spends every night “reading” this book and telling me every single thing he NEEDS! He also points to everything and tells me what is a girl toy and what is a boy toy. Did you know a Hot Pink monopoly set is for boys only?

Brandon just whacked Codi in the head with some big piece of rubber thing while yelling JUKE! WTF is a Juke hmm? I have no clue. Earlier last week Brandon looked at me and told me I was a dork. Gee thanks kid. This weekend at the store with my husband we ran into some of his old work friends. Brandon looked at them and said, “you don’t say shit.” Hey thanks for that kid!

Oh yeah. We switched his daycare. And I plan to write a ton more about that on Wednesday. It is an excellent story! Seriously, watch for that one!

I feel like I spent the whole weekend doing the same things. I woke up and swept the floors and went to bed and swept the floors. I’ve cleaned my tables and counters like 6 times this weekend. I’m sitting here right now staring at the food on the floor wondering why kids have to spill so much. It is like they have some kind of built in mechanism forcing them to drop everything in an effort to irritate their parents. I think it is attached to the same mechanism that makes them wake up the second you fall asleep.

Oh did I tell you about this weekend when the giant motherfucker spider came running across my couch this weekend? The spider I tried to kill but instead watched in horror as he ran down the couch and hid UNDER IT. Yeah I didn’t sit on that couch for two days because I was convinced spiders were going to come out and kill me. Yes, this was just a day after I was woken up by eight tiny legs crawling on my arm. You know eight tiny legs that fucking disappeared when I woke up and went to mush them! Fucking spiders.

Okay have to go and sweep the floor and try and convince Codi to stop climbing to the top of the stairs and then crying because he can’t get down.

3 thoughts on “Back from the dark side

  1. Wow. Your brain thinks like mine does. lol.And I think Cristina is right. Juke = jerk. :)And I\’m wondering what happened with daycare. I\’m guessing that the director took the side of the #$%$# teacher who mistreated all the kids. If that\’s the case, you need to call DHS. Other kids don\’t need to go through it.Anyway.. I\’m hoping to get the Twilight series for Christmas from hubs, but he wants to see the movie when it comes out.


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