• Why oh why oh why can’t my husband clean out the damn lint trap in the dryer? For some reason I can not handle lint in my dryer trap!
• I am supposed to be eating healthy but people keep buying me lunch at work. And really when you are going to free lunch at somewhere good you can’t order a fucking salad. NO you order fries and fried stuff and RANCH!
• People who hit the fucking snooze button. Three goddamn times my husbands alarm went off this morning. Mother fucker!
• When you fall asleep at 4:40am. But you fall into the best most relaxing sleep ever and then at 4:50 your son wakes up and starts jumping in your bed yelling TEE YEE (TV)
• When your son picks all the damn blueberries out of his cake (muffin) and flicks them into your couch
• When your sons milk cup only leaks when it is on the couch or the carpet…never on the hardwood floors! You know the floors that wipe!
• That I dumped out half a can of Old Bay on my floors and am just to pissed to vacuum the shit up!

Things that aren’t on my nerves right now

• I made on hell of a rocking kiss ass mutherfucker dinner for my husband last night. Seriously if food is love then I love the shit out of that man, not many women would make their husbands so much food fried in bacon fat.
• I get free lunch today at a good restaurant that I choose because I called my supplier at work and say, hey baby you need to come take me to lunch once more before I go on maternity leave. And he lovingly obliged.
• I’m still pregnant so I still have an excuse to dunk everything I eat in ranch
• This kid is still healthy because the little fucker is still kicking the shit out of me. I would really like one bruise on the outside of my belly so I could have some sort of battle wound to prove how bad this kid is kicking my ass!
• I did laundry so my two pairs of maternity jeans are actually clean! Oh yeah I’m gonna be sexay when I go to lunch today.
• I now have less then a month till Codi is born.