For sale

Two slightly used children who listen and take orders about once a week.  Specialize in making messes and making extra loud noises.  Not very good at sharing unless they are sharing tips on how to drive a person nuts. Will hide food in a moments notice, but don’t worry it doesn’t start to smell for a few weeks.  Great at mopping the floor with water spilled from their cups.  Juice also makes a great mopping solution and it leaves your floor extra sticky.  Don’t worry if you have carpet, banana mashes in nicely so it is barely visible.  Keep lots of coffee handy these two kids are experts at waking up at 1AM and 4AM because they want a drink.  Looking for something to cover that pesky hole in the wall look no further, these boys come equipped with extra boogers and are experts at picking them and wiping them all about.  The little one enjoys taking off his diaper and watering the lawn with pee.  Very useful for telemarketers as lying is one of their strengths.  

If you are interested please leave a comment below. 

I charge one bottle of asprin and a few Starbucks lattes.

6 thoughts on “For sale

  1. Haha, hey, can you please add a little redhead to this listing? just about everything you wrote applies to her too just add extremely good at throwing fits… thanks 😉


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